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Bec Aug 2017
"You should smile more"
No, I should be happy more,
but now we're both
asking for things we don't have.
I'm not a selfish person,
I accept what I've got.
For some people, it comes like
a gift on Christmas morning;
I am living in a house that Santa
doesn't visit.
"I'm sad today" is not
a lifetime commitment,
I know.
But a consistently happy person
is never asked to frown.
Bec Jun 2017
Long drives
replay long
conversations
that sit with me
through longer
nights.
But your stay
was so
short,
sometimes I'm
not even sure
you were real.
Bec Jun 2017
You told me
I was like a crime scene;
intriguing, but you couldn't
handle getting too close.
So I wrapped my existence
in neon yellow caution tape
and hung a "keep back" sign
above my heart.
You only wanted
to view me from afar.
To stare and mimic
the generic "how sad".
Sometimes the killer stays around
to witness what they've done.
Tell me,
what do you see?
Bec Apr 2017
I am in love.
But this will not have
a happy ending.
I do not know
how to be lovable.
I go home with boys
who aren't you,
and try not to call them
by your name.
You tell me they're
no good for me.
Please, show me what
is good for me.
I am desperately trying
to find the perfect
distraction.
I cannot figure out
how to be someone
you'd want,
and I can tell that
it's killing me.
I crave you
like nothing else on
this earth.
Try to love me,
or make yourself
leave me.
Bec Sep 2016
Simple hello's
turned to casual conversation,
turned to me seated
in the passenger seat
of your car.
Talks on the phone
that lasted long after
the stars came out.
I really can't say I mind losing sleep,
as long as you're looking
for it with me.
You asked me what I thought
of you,
what I really thought.
Never in my life before then
had I been at a loss
for words.
I couldn't bear to ask you the same,
I'm afraid the answer
will be both too much
and not enough.
Bec Aug 2016
Years, I think it was,
that you told me you
wanted me.
I just wasn't ready
for that kind of love.
Still you stayed in my life.
The day I knew was like
the sun being pulled out from
months of overcast skies.
Loving you was the
easiest thing I've ever done.
Some days I think
leaving me
was the easiest thing
you've ever done.
I should have known
when you started comparing
your paper cuts to
bullet holes,
convinced I was holding
the gun.
Desperate
for what you didn't have
and nothing changed
when you got it.
You were nothing
but sunshine
that couldn't handle
the rain.
Bec Jul 2016
There have been theories
about the end of the world.
A giant fireball from the sky,
natural disasters,
a mutant virus.
But the truth is far worse
for I have seen it.
It's going to happen when
you awake one morning,
the warm, comforting body
that is usually next to you,
gone.
In their place, a note.
"I don't love you anymore.
I'm sorry"

It'll happen when
she takes her last breath,
the hand you've been desperately
clutching to
loosening in your grip.
When his mother calls you
at 3 a.m., crying,
and tells you that she found her baby,
your best friend,
lying on the red bathroom floor.
It'll take you a minute because
you know that that floor
is white.
This is how the world ends,
neither with a bang or a whisper.
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