i.
fall is almost here, the autumn leaves are alive with
color and the trees are standing tall and majestic

and you are still nowhere to be seen

ii.

i wonder a lot, if things would have gone differently, if i would still be
by your side and if you would let me
those are the worst days, the ones where you are only an echo in the
wind but it is enough to spark a tornado and the nights come quietly
and restlessly and i toss and i turn and i wonder a lot, if i would ever
choose for things to happen differently

iii.

it's funny how things turn out because just two years ago we
were sharing the same jokes in math class and if i close my eyes and
hold my breath, i can still see you typing furiously on your calculator
and throwing notes on my desk effortlessly without anyone ever
noticing, we were so beautiful in those days; so happy and young and
naive and beautiful

iv.

i don't know where you are anymore, i talk to you sometimes but
very rarely and that thought doesn't bother me as much as it used to
i know that i don't need you in my life anymore, although i have a feeling
that even if i did it wouldn't be the same because autumn leaves always
lose color and we live our love in shades of cool, and it is
no longer beautiful

(h.l.)

I thought you a star
Now I'm not sure what you are
A satellite looks too  similar
When viewing it from afar

The monster that lives in me,
Jealousy growing by each moment,
Makes life seem too greet for you, while I am drowning in pain.

I don't want to imagine your hands with him intertwined.
I don't want to imagine you with him sitting together, laughing and kissing,
While I am left cold.

Jealousy grows each moment I hear you calling his name smilling.
I hate it when I happen to see his pictures all over your phone,
Because you never once had a single picture of me there.
I feel poison burning in my blood stream.

When I think of how happier you're with him and not me, anger and hatred grows and I become insane.
Oh! I wish I could forget you completely.
I am still madly crazy in love with you .......
If only I never met you.
Nothing hurts more than to see you dancing with another man,
While I still crave for your love.

The only way to describe your presence, is like I've been emptied of everything obsolete and negative. And at the end of my void a pure injection of your will and passion. Like I'm completely empty but somehow overflowing with joy. Where weightlessness meets completeness. That place you know every moment spent here might just be the point of it all.

Forever admiring your every fibre and repeating like it were all brand new. The only space I could ever exist is in this one where our dream never ends and your smile always shines brighter for me.

I'll never find anyone who made me feel like you did. Again.
I'll never love so deep and raw. Again.
I'll always be searching for you again and. Again.
I'll never kiss the way we did. Again.
I'll never make love so passionately. Again.
I'll never compromise myself. Again
I'll never let things unsaid be my undoing. Again.
I'll always try. Again
I'll always want a love so unique. Again.