T Thomas

T Thomas Aug 2014

Self criticism.
Awkwardness.

Conflicted personality.

I spend hours on end
perfecting my looks.
Eyeliner to energize my eyes,
blush to bring affection
into my smile,
compassion,
and pink lips
to mesmerize you.

But inside I'm a storm raging
of self doubt.
I have demons inside,
that I can't hide
by my superficial skills,
no matter how hard I try.
It doesn't work.

What's wrong with you?

I thought I was fine.

But you're not. Do you hear yourself?

I'm talking to myself. This has become normal.

How come some days you're fine? You're energized,
lively, fun, and outgoing?
Then on others, you can't even get words out
loud enough?
I don't understand myself anymore.
But I'm trying. God, I'm trying.

I'm a mess.
A scattered mess. I can't breathe.
What do I look like to other people?
Do I care?
I'm causing my own demise.
I'm digging my own grave.
I am my own enemy.
I am my own worst enemy.

A girl who's trying to balance herself.

Aug 2014

Revenant

Breathe into me

I miss how we were the only ones alike.
We were the only two of that caliber, and you knew it.
Electricity flew between your lips and mine.
We were beautiful.
I miss how our voices pierced the heavy silence around us, and tangled up with one another.
I miss how we preformed for no more than one another.
I miss how your melodies kissed my face as they glided about our space.
I miss our shared breath.
I miss my voice moving in perfect time with yours; curving up to meet your highs, and dipping down to brush against your lows.
I miss the way you would look at me when I took control and owned the song-- with that sly, crooked grin.
The accidental physical touch
The longing when our time ran out
The lingering of your voice, and that crystal gaze burning into my core
The teasing and the backhanded compliments
Never too sure of what's work and what's play
But I'm sure of this:
There is a certain intimacy that comes with throwing your heart and soul into the void, and hoping it doesn't fall flat.
There's an even deeper intimacy that follows when you meet another voice, and you move and reach and swell and growl and throw everything you have into that one note.
Because without passion, we are dead.

Breathe into me.

#beautiful #lips #flying #electricity #pierce #mine #flew #caliber #heave #pierced

T Thomas Aug 2014

e83

The full moon hung in the inky sky,
accompanied by tiny glimmering stars.
The chilly summer air kissed my skin,
giving me goosebumps that reminded me
that I was alive.
That this world was mine.

The darkness of the night filled me,
with a surge of lust, power, and freedom.
Your bright eyes held an enigmatic spark,
that magnetized my midnight mirrors.
Time had become stagnant.
There was a magic,
so passionate,
planets moved.

Aug 2014

kp

(insert your name)

you used to love the taste of my name on your tongue,
until summer rolled around and your taste buds changed.
however,
my mouth still waters.

#love #change #breakup #tongue #taste #reflex

Aug 2014

the girl from nowhere

real and doubtful

someone once told me that the
people who we want the most are
the monsters under our beds and
the core reason of why we find fault
in everything we do and are because
we are only trying to please them,
and now I understand why I started
to doubt my love for you.

-doubtful

conceptcollection

#love #poem #poetry #sad #depression #life #heart #pain #death #you

Aug 2014

Charles Bukowski

This Then

it's the same as before
or the other time
or the time before that.
here's a ****
and here's a ****
and here's trouble.

only each time
you think
well now I've learned:
I'll let her do that
and I'll do this,
I no longer want it all,
just some comfort
and some ***
and only a minor
love.

now I'm waiting again
and the years run thin.
I have my radio
and the kitchen walls
are yellow.
I keep dumping bottles
and listening
for footsteps.

I hope that death contains
less than this.