I know that I’m dying, dear
So please don’t let go

Hold me tighter
To keep together the years
They’re running to the ground

Please catch me, my dear
I keep tripping over the time

Please squeeze out my fear
My anxiety, depression, and doubts
Because when you hold me
I remember I’m here

I was brimming with pride and joy
Over a victory I had fought so hard for
I danced to the tune of the canon fodder
And with such expertise

I thought

I thought to pause
To display some grandeur in a finale
A finale felt right

I thought

I thought not only that I could go home
But that this was home
And the invaders had been staved off
I thought the settling dust was a spring rain
And I was expecting gorgeous flowers

But nothing grows in a warzone
Nothing grows

Disaster is no whisper today
It is roaring in both ears
And the onslaught won’t let up
Won’t let go
In spite of my squirming
My flailing
It won’t let go!
And it has a hold of my throat
And a hold of my screams
—I can’t even scream!
Its grip grows tighter
When I let out a breath
I am choking
And crying
Wishing I could drown myself in my tears
But it laps them up like honey
Every drop a precious jewel to add to its hoard
My swords are shattered and tarnished by its poison
Useless against this vile beast
I’m just another victim
Dying in a lair
Where no sound escapes
An echo chamber of desolation
A labyrinth of death
That I’ve lost my soul to.

I live in a room unlike the others
There is no collection of books lining the walls
No box of records lying in the corner for me to flip through
Nothing haphazardly littering the floor to keep me from walking
No unfinished paintings tucked away somewhere
No counters covered in dishes, and no full sink

There is no sink at all
Or any place to **** and ****
And I can only bathe
In what I want to wash myself clean of
I live in a room with walls of plastic
And an aroma of ozone from burning out
I have spent so much time running around the room
Because there doesn't seem to be anything else I can do

Right now I'm tired; I am resting
But I will miss that ozone
And I will keep on running
Like I have forgotten that there is no door
Or window to climb out of
There is only use in escaping what is in the room
I rest to escape the running
When there is too much happening
And the ozone burns my nose
I run to escape the idea that nothing ever happens
And nothing ever will.

C’mon, let’s drop some more bombs!
It’s alright, they are the ones who are wrong.
They run, they scream, they hide—
It’s alright, people always die
There’s no need to know why
Just go focus on getting by.

But I’m tired of all the lies
I can’t see—
I’ve lost sight of the blue skies
The fire and smoke burns my eyes
It’s alright, everyone dies!

But why would I live
Where there’s no sunrise?
Blacked out by greed in disguise
I think I can hear their cries!
It’s alright, everyone dies!

Oh, but I know why!
It’s now so clear to me
Oh, yes, I can see
When You compare us to them
It looks like we are free
But this is not who we ought to be
We have to break from this false reverie!


You can’t erase what You’ve done,
Our memories, or the fallen ones.
None of this is my idea of fun
So I won’t turn, I won’t run,
Not until we see the day
When peace has won.

I must reek of gasoline
As I trudge around
Like a slug
Leaving behind a trail
For the fire to follow
Always racing
Closer and faster
Ready to leap
And devour its prey

I seek you through the fog
I seek you through the rain
And I can't seem to find
Something less insane.

When I keep myself tethered
I am tossed by this weather
When I keep my thoughts unfettered
I fear of getting lost forever.

But I don't think I'll ever resign
To the torrent in my mind
Not to the fear
Nor to the pressure
I must overcome my aggressor.