My facade was so strong you called me. friend.
I guess it was just meant to be a bitter end.
But when your whole movie is made of sunshine and rainbows.
It has to be violent for the sake of show.
I spent so long in hiding like in bitter captivity.
Pretending not to be lost in your pull like gravity.
You made me smiley and all warm inside
Lost on your letters trying to hide.
But then i told you the truth trying to set myself free.
Then you backed off and brached out like a tree.
Your roots came up and we both went down.
All i said was i love you but you didnt see it my way.
The only thing you could think of was how to get rid of me now that you know im...gay.

I could still smell lavender, hinted
winds from the east I’d once caressed.
And I could still smell that Lavender
When I look down to watch the ants
scurry. Once more, I could still smell
Lavender come empty and my life In
a bubble atop the world. And at last,
the Lavender’s gone, when trees root

elsewhere.

The city is windy,
today.  
Certainly noisy, everyday,
Compared to my country life.

Tall buildings glimmer,
Streets boisterous with sounds  of people and machines.
Excitement!
Opportunity!
Urgency!

Country life, by comparison,  stiller,
Slo wer,
Ex pan sive.

Both are good
I tell myself.
I am still flexible,
I tell myself.

Then, verily it dawns on me,
with unfamiliar panic and relief,
that my stretching-bending days are over.

I want to ride
like the wind
to where my being has
despite itself,
taken root.
Where the nomad has
inadvertently pitched
A more permanent tent.

30 years after roaming
ill-suited ground
my Restless Soul
was cleverly tricked
to settle
where nature,
in all her glory
and quiet magnificence,
crowds the land.

Amen.

Where dreams are uprooted
And trust is slowly losing ground
Where does one get a foothold?
Once pristine landscape of mankind
Is denied the elixir of life, Love
Inner strength is crumbling away
The quick sand moments pulling us
Rapidly towards point of no return
The scorching heat is unbearable
As souls are parched dry
Lack of feelings and compassion
Extinction is not far away