Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Arke Sep 2018
I wanted a clean break
so I compartmentalized
my friends     and      his

I didn't fight for you
but I should've

we had picked out your
birthday gift together
I never made the party
the gift was a reminder
of our failure as a couple
it's not a good excuse
but it's the one I have
I put my own feelings of shame
over our friendship
because that was simpler

the truth is, I was scared, too
I've never told anyone that

I'd watch your soccer games
you would run across the field
your body athletic and agile
tall and capable in ways I could
only wish I had been
and I was scared to see you weak

I'll never forget your last media post
two hours before you died
about how you couldn't stop coughing

I regret the birthday gift
you never got to open
This was 13 years ago and I still think about  her.
Arke Sep 2018
ten years ago, you sat next to me
propped against a wall on my bed
strumming each string
of my red electric guitar
tuning the cords, slowly, gently
too embarrassed to play a song
you were going to be a lawyer
I was going to be a journalist
we both had high hopes then

our usual food order was tater tots
with extra (extra!) sauce and
pad thai in a box which we'd swap
back and forth in between sips
of whiskey from your metal flask
sitting on the curb of the parking lot
late at night after everything closed
both exhausted from work

you brought me a cd in the hospital
I listened to it a hundred times
I know all the lyrics to every song on it
even a decade later
the music is still ours, you know
we gift each other mix tapes
you always include a song
by my favorite band (thank you)
I couldn't make you just one playlist
because all music reminds me of you

our conversations flow easy
we bounce back and forth
teasing, joking, talking openly
you always make me laugh
and I don't tell you this enough
but I love you and our friendship
even when we go months
without ever talking to each other
what we have is beautiful and
so important to me, I cherish it every day
You ever think about what you'd tell people before you die?
Isabelle Apr 2016
Instead of sending, I burnt all the letters I have written for you
Thinking that what I wrote there will turn into ashes too
Wishing that my feelings will disappear into the scorching flame
But the fire betrays me, as the letters are burning, I am burning too
It becomes worse and it only doubles the pain
How can I burn those memories without burning myself too?
I was burning too...

— The End —