the words "i love you" rolled off my tongue
we had only been together for 2 months when i said it
he was shocked and so was i

as the months had passed we got closer and closer
we said "i love you" so many times and still do
but instead of him or i saying "i love you too"
we just say "i love you"

the word "too" means in addition or also
i don't love him in addition to him loving me
he doesn't love me in addition to me loving him

we love each other for who we are
not because of our bodies or money
not because he's attractive or he thinks i'm attractive too
we love each other for who we are

we are teen lovers
we want to get married to each other
have our own children together
grow old together
die together

that is our love.

i knew deep down that the person in the picture wasn't really you
but in my fantasy you were everything i had ever wanted

but oh how i miss being held in your arms
in distressful times such as these, i find myself wanting to run to you

to feel your embrace
to feel your presence
to have the warmth of your cheeks pressed against my mine
when you ran your hand through my hair, reassuring me
that everything would be okay in the end
but it wasn't.

i quickly remind myself who you really were in the end
the disappointment still consumes me

stuck in an endless cycle of criticism
just to avoid the mere idea of being hurt
the idea of letting someone fully into my heart, just to take another piece of it away?
it's something my mind and heart cannot fathom yet again

is my judgement something that can be seen as egotistical?
funny how i hate myself so much, yet try to hold you to such a high standard
but i know love cannot be formed in this manner
love isn't about changing someone into what you want
but rather about accepting and loving them for who they are

my mind judges the immaturity you have, like any other teenage boy
or the way you aren't my ideal person, academically
yet i admire the way you talk about your passions
or how you kiss me until i feel okay again
maybe that's what matters more

an out of body experience it was meeting you
looking into your eyes, lost in the endless shimmer they gave off
a single touch from you was like a touch from the heavens
sparks flying just from a single conversation
everything changed the moment i met you

just as quick as it happened was as quick as it was gone
you left and took a part of me with you
a part that i will never get back again
oh how i miss her
everything changed the moment you left

months go by and my heart still asks about you
deep down i always knew you were my soulmate
but it felt dramatic to say that, however now i know it's true
no one can ever make me feel the way you did
everything is different now

beneath the pit of my soul
a flame lacerates my skin
the anger, the frustration, the confusion
of you not being here anymore
when my gut told me for sure, that you were the one

love is a scary game they say
but i was never scared to try with you

it's so hard to forget
someone i knew i would've fallen in love with

oh but every time you left
you took a piece of me with you
and now
that part of me is all gone

you say you want me back and you're sorry for pushing me away
you were scared of getting hurt
and you felt an overwhelming amount of emotion while you were with me
you didn't know how to handle it

but as the days go by you miss me more and more
you wish you never let me go because you can't find the spark anywhere else
and because you know i was such a rare find
so you hate yourself for running away

but then i woke up.