I hear the cries around
The battles in the crowd
The bullets Raining down
The blood that's on the ground
The fear all around
The crying in the crowd
It's all coming down
Our fates are falling to the ground
So I'm running all around
I'm looking in the crowd
'cause I'm falling down
I need to find you before I hit the ground
I've been searching all around
Running through the crowds
As the world's been falling down
I won't let us hit the ground
The wars all around
Blood coming from the crowd
The World is coming down
And you have been falling down
But we won't hit the ground
We've been through his before
And we can do it again
It may be our blood on the ground
But we can take it now
As the world falls down
And we have broken down
But we will never touch the ground

I was always told girls don't cuss
they don't speak out of turn
they let the guy control the relationship
I was 5 when my mom told me to sit
Even straighter than the 180 degree line
I sat at
She said boys were scouting
And I was their prey
I didn't know
the way I dressed
Determined
If I was a ***** or not
Because we live
In a society
where **** shaming
Is encouraged
And how many girls
Did you **** last night
was an encouragement
But if I try and tell someone
I want attention
And I’m not really the victim
Because it was my fault
For dressing like I wanted it
My father told me not to argue with men
So the second time
You encased
Me in my nightmare
I didn’t try to fight
bruises linger from the first time
I felt worthless
you made me lose my worth
because my shoulder was
too provoking
the spark in my eyes gone
the emotion held on my face
non existent
as you pined me to the floor
you said
don't tell anyone
and my father taught me
to never argue with a man.

Last night I saw the fear in your eyes
the vulnerability seeping in.
I made you vulnerable and you hated me for that
you hated that I was the only one
who actually made you feel something
so you had to go and cheat
but I was the **** all though your inbox
says different
A flirty message with a heart faced attached
it doesn't mean anything I tell myself
he loves me.
But I never truly believed. Us girls caught
up in our heads is he thinking of me too.
you broke my heart and I want to break your spine
my therapist says letting anger out is healthy
but I actually want you to die
I want you to feel the pain I felt when I saw you with not the first but the third girl. But I was the idiot for going back.
I want you to not be able to sleep at night
Having panic attack after panic attack
wondering why you were never good enough
I want you to die
because I see in colors and you shut your blue eyes and now all I see is black.
because you said you loved me
and her
and her
my liver trying to accommodate all the alcohol just to get a weakened smile
my veins screaming for me to stop
bleeding them dry my head spiraling trying to get me to think of anything else but you
your manipulative blue eyes and your sinful lips but I am my own worst enemy

Your eyes reminded me of oceans
and broken promises
you were just like the ocean
you had promising days
beautiful reflections but you were dark and scary.
Because I couldn't swim
but you took me anyway
your voice drowning me in but I'm the ******* ****
even though you took girl after girl
Was I not good enough
our constant arguments drowning me
suffocating my innocence even the ocean
couldn't wash away the sins
that flooded out the lies you put in my head.
I'm not the weak one because even
though I couldn't swim
I got up and fought your toxic wasteland
you tried to win but
I'm letting you know
I learned how to swim
*****.

I am a masterpiece
beautifully crafted by you
I am a canvas of bliss
painted in a vibrant hue.
Yet you never admired me
instead, you ignored the beauty within
how cruel is my destiny
the end of me is about to begin.
You disheveled my peace
I pleaded but there was no sound
slowly, piece by piece
I fell on the hard ground.
Soon, I will feel no pain
for the strong me is now awake
one day, I shall stand again
and by then, I'll be a wonderful mosaic.

Stand up
Be brave
Fight back

I look around at the hollow faces surrounding me. They show no emotion or any sign of knowing what they were doing to the kid. He braces himself against a locker, nose broken, unable to stand up, and they keep going. I know when I joined their group I signed up to make people lives miserable, but I never wanted to hurt them. I stare at the kid that pain displayed on his face. He has a look of pure hatred written all over his face, I want to tell them to stop but I can’t. I turn on my heels and walk away. They yell after me to come back and get some of the action, but I can’t. This poor kid did nothing to deserve this, but I can’t bring myself to stop him. I walk out and get in the car. I turn the ignition and drive away. I was most of their way of getting home but I don’t care. I need to be alone. I signed up to hurt others, not thinking of the consequence, all I wanted was to be popular, but the price was much higher than I thought it would be. My soul.

Years ago,
I had a dream
For a better world,
But I woke up.

Now, I have a promise.
To those that have
To show a fake front and
To those who cry.
To stand up for
To those who are weak
And those who try...
But don't make it.
It's a creed to live by.

Call me weak
Call me a coward
Tell me that I'm scared
Tell me that I can't do it
Not by my own strength.
And I will say to you that
You are right.

It's the reason why
I train, write, eat,
Meditate, repeat.
It's the reason why
I can't let go of
My past; it makes
Time go fast.
It's the ****** reason why
I live in the light,
Consumed by the darkness.