at crossroads I was, unable to choose
where I would go, and what I could lose
the clock was ticking, the other cars waiting
in the middle I stood, debating, debating ~
the decision to make, what path to take
what would I lose, when so much was at stake?

9 seats
9 brains
9 kids
All kids
Expected to know
To understand
Expected to focus
On a screen with no meaning
No root in reality
A brain being molded
On another’s dime

// EW

No matter how many times
We are shuffled.
No matter how many times
We are split apart.
I'll always find you.
My Queen, my diamond in the rough. 
My heart forever upright in your hand.
Lost in all the minutes, the seconds.
All the numbered cards and look a likes
That re-symbol you, re-symbol I.
Shuffled in search of love
Shuffled in search to belong
My head nestled warm against yours.
Split between us two
Face flat against your heart.
Lost in the minutes, the seconds
All the numbered cards and look a likes
That could never surmount the stakes of losing you.
No matter the bluff

me and her we barely talk
like spies for different governments
I've tried extracting information
but I'm cut off, passing out
and I wake up every time
17, heart-broken with silence

blank stares scan my every evening
somehow I am still invisible
turning this into a cold green light
to explore the dark corridors of my heart
my thoughts turn to microfilms
and battle plans and secret blueprints
my cover's hanging by a thread

I'm now a fugitive with everything to lose
a secret agent in love with their handler,
the disembodied string of signs on glowing screen
how much emptier than this is it possible to get

because there is no home
and you can't just go back to the agency
one wrong step and charges vary
from espionage to treason
and there've never been any right moves
at all

so now it's back to basics

Here's a toast
To those who never asked for it
Because they really need one
And i for one am not letting them out
That would be wrong of me
And wrong for you
You got to think about the things that you do
Even if they appear as minor
They're much larger in the other portraits
This card game shouldn't end in a forfeit
But those few seem to anyways
High stakes, low stakes
Makes no difference to me.