Screaming hysterically
Pleading
For someone to hear
The pounding words of yearning live only in my mind
My mouth stays still
Lips locked in place
As tears drip silently down my face
Like wax sliding down a candles edge
As the flame flickers
I feel my light being blown
into nothingness
The screams in my mind grow desperate
as dark clouds vail my once excited eyes
I stare forward
No sparkle in sight
The shouting grows angrier
Thoughts roaring for release
My dreams
My hopes
Stay stuck in my throat

HEAR ME

Feelings of rage run through me
No outlet for my worries
Round and round they go
like a carousel on steroids
I need to release
But my voice is no more
Furious thoughts stay locked in my head
Racing and shouting without a way forward
Words never spoken
Lost without a trace
My mind grows full
Pressure building
Ready to burst

I pick up the .....
And ... my life

Conflict is trauma promoting trauma
Conflict is love becoming blind to one's inner beauty
Conflict is wasting moments of growth
Conflict is hating self, and showing others how much you hate self
Conflict is aborting peace as you choose to birth evil

i love my dad
you do not see it
but that's the way
it is

three hour van silences
are no longer
awkward

i am the scion of 4
that's never going to greet him

i know a child
scratches his belly from the inside

i'm in the house of mirrors
while everyone is eating
i see through the
teasing, the
shouting
mom shakes her head "no one
can ever talk to you"
i see
through
the
pain

my silence as a message:
67 years no longer let you
rush to climb the stairs
to embrace the plush worm
of colors: i do it for you

i do not greet you
but i dress a shirt
with the caption "DADS"
and a picture of us two.