These demons are constantly present,
They collect under my skin and inside my bones,
Slithering around my insides,
Constricting my lungs,
Turning my heart into a cold wasteland.
They are forever haunting me,
These past regrets and current mistakes that I make daily.
They will not be silenced,
Though I try to forget,
They will not let me,
They push around my thoughts,
Controlling every one.
They push my happy memories away,
And force the painful ones to rise.
What can I do to escape my tormentors?
How long until they become one with my soul?
I need a way to fight this depression,
I refuse to give into their dark solicitations.
There is an inner light somewhere,
Strong enough to overcome these menaces,
I just have to find it somehow.
I know i could be peaceful once more,
If i could just defeat these voices,
These awful demons,
Residing within.

Do you spend nights wondering about the all things you could've been?
I barely know you and yet I did all the things I did
I settle in these thoughts, thinking I shouldn't have meddled in
But you gave me a call saying you regret letting me in
It's funny, you're not the only one with a past
You see a smile on my face, and all the green in my grass
Halos and wings is what you think I have
But what you see is an act, everything is a mask
Don't you ever tell me you're too broken for me
I got pieces of broken mirrors I'm never willing to see
I couldn't tell you this the other day, I know you wouldn't believe
But you're perfect for me, there's not a thing you need
But no matter what I tell you, I swear you never listen
All you say is I wouldn't get it
"You don't know me, just forget it"
I know you're brokenhearted with a lot of regrets
I know you've been trying to fix what came to be a mess
Trying to sew together of whatever is left
We're both just two emotional kids trying to feel something again
I wrote you a text but I never got the courage to hit send
It's hard to tell you that I've been through it too
I know when you're trying to be together but ending up breaking as two
You begin believing in someone so much you don't know what to do
To a point you're looking at a mirror, asking yourself, are you really you?
Your insecurities trying to find security
Start giving them a love you never really had like it's a piece of charity
I don't want to hear another promise, I just want you to have some clarity

A shofar blown in an empty synagogue

— a pursed squeeze of ethereal meaningless

is the sound of my abject failure to pull her back onto the boat

A choking cough in the dawn adhan reminds me of those gasps

the sinking and the stillness
and the defeat of my best intentions

regrets climbing atop
most things when I pray

blocking the sun as they stretch and writhe

but cold prayers are better than none and those moments pressed flat

fill my empty flask with the warmest of things

Guilt is such a powerful word
A word no one wants to discuss.
They just want to keep it in
Hoping it would go away

But no,
guilt is not like that.
It takes control of your body,
Gnawing on your thoughts.

Why did I not help her?
Why did I survive but not the person next to me?
Why did he get caught but not me?
Why did I not confess that it was my fault?
Why? Why? Why?

And yet, everyone around you
Fails to see the aura of guilt that glows beside you.
Every time they smile at you,
You feel the knot in your stomach grow bigger.

Guilt is like a monster,
It keeps devouring you.
You wish with all your heart that you can undo your wrongdoings.
Guilt just continues and tortures you.

  Until, one day it takes away your life,
And all that is left is your corpse,
A corpse that is stained with guilt and regrets.

Salty air and dark night,
The moon illuminates the sea.
The tides clash with the rock,
and 67 ft above, there's me.

Right step, left step, right step, left...
Is there no one to stop me?
I think about the times my heart wept,
and said, "no, I wanna take this flee."

I stand at the edge and fall forward,
For a moment I feel free, I fly.
The air around me felt nice, oh god..
"I take it back, I don't wanna die--"
-splash-

By Arcassin Burnham


Chemistry embeds the heart and soul into
capacities that can not be measured,
Love Is limitless even to the people , just want
a piece of the pie when it severs,
As much ambition as i have in this world to
make a girl wanna stand up and praise,
treating the people how you wanna be treated
but instead they see you stuck all in your ways,
Got sick of love for awhile so i stuck to the
feelings of diamond valley,
got to know myself a little bit but in a nick of time
God called to me,
Told me about the long distant relationships and
heartaches with memories,
remembering a time way back when i told my ex,
i want you to want me,

I'm just tired of the love,
I'm just tired of the hate,
I'm just tired of the kissing,
I'm just tired of your face,
don't you tell me that you love me,
cause i know it ain't real,
don't tell me that you love.

Eyes you’ve once met, and hands you’ve once touched
How did it feel? To only ever remember them
Like the way disasters come crashing in
And having to feel to never have it back again,
Or is it a fairy tale scene, and what you thought was happily ever after
Is a sudden slap from reality that good times never last?
But in all your heart, you swear to the heavens,
It wasn’t that bad, it was the best thing
Even in the worst times, the only thing you could ever hope for
Is that magically all those memories rewind back
And that you could grasp once more the things that you didn’t
And live through a parallel life, where it could have gone your way
But life is like a breaking glass, a breaking never returning wrath
One day you are happy, and the next it’s gone,
I live for today and that’s all that ever mattered
But from time to time, I turned my head slightly
To say that I wished I have lived and stayed a little longer in that place called past,
For all the gods in heaven, I stake my life for the future,
Because I never know what is ahead, so I walk with ease,
And trust in what I believe is an instinct and the love for the adventure,
Regrets? I could have some, but I never did regret holding that hand,
Never had I regret looking into those eyes,
I’m glad for today just to reminisce.

I told you
But
You did not
Listen to that voice
That is me