"I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying"
All the times
I sit at the edge of my table
Thinking I'll be able
To break my face on it
My cute prepared outfit
White turned red
Like they said
I should just die
No one would show up to my party of tears
Three cheers for broken hearts
a melanie martinez inspired poem
Pity Party - Melanie Martinez
Poverty levels are miles above me.
Haven't eaten for days,
but the child's tummy is happy.
That's all that really matters, right?
Stolen vehicles and slinging to get by,
selling myself and losing my mind
an inch at a time.
But, I'm clean in too many ways.
Greed and snapping jaws trained at
Every angle of escape blocked,
this is my Destiny.
I chose the wrong hearts to trust.
I gave a mile.
I lost it all.
Though I want to give up,
I just can't afford to blow.
I'll feign strength and plastered
Block it all like I've done in the past.
One day I'll be blessed with death,
and I'll rejoice in the simple
Abondonment is expected
Maybe even created
Self fullfiled prophecy or Destiny?
Exhausted from the rage
Incapable of withstanding this,
Your eternal storm.
Trapped as always
Bound to yet another villain
Growing crueler as I strengthen
I think I forgot how to cry
This well of sadness won't release
Maybe I'll simply disappear tonight
You came to me with powdered knuckles,
you knew it was my poison.
You were raised on horse
so we thought,
'This won't be a problem.'
It feels like the sound
Of a million angels singing.
Doubts explode in the brain,
but the high makes you ignore them.
I knew I had to be stronger
than the last time that I slipped.
I handled my ****,
finished the manuscript,
but you just kept exceeding.
I always knew compassion
would one day be my downfall.
You filled your nose,
hid new hoes
And I just kept abiding.
Losses began to trickle in.
You saw you weren't so hard.
To be honest
From what I've witnessed
None of the gangsters are.
I caught you in a tryst
while lies bled from you lips.
Panic attacks and shiny blades
returned to being my usual ways.
I warned you from the start,
but bulls rarely listen.
The lines crossed you
and you felt used.
Shameful, you grew twisted.
Torn and mangled,
Depleted and abused-
Here's to forsaken me
and my nameless muse.
You've never felt more self pity
and embarrassment in school until
You've walked down the halls
Eyes brimmed with tears you
fight to hold in all day and the
Inability to tell anyone what's
going on because you know what
Has made you feel this way but
It all is just too much and putting
It in word would force the breath
Out of your lungs and the water out
of your eyes.
I'm just so tired...sick of a lot
They say that magic always comes with a price, and I couldn't agree more
for I paid the price of your love everyday. It was magical in it's own way.
Not a good day. I have a feeling that none of my friends like me. The one's who used to be close seem so distant and I wonder if there's anything wrong with me. Did I do something to make them hate me? I used to be sorta popular and had so many friends and all of a sudden I feel so lonely. Bad day.
the dark is like
a cup of
a nostalgic omnipresence
that never fades
always the same at the end of every day
but no walls can keep me protected
from the thoughts that the dark brings like
unwanted guests to
a pity party
we belong to the dark
born in the dark
erased in the dark
never felt so alive entrenched in black
yet so dead
because closing my eyes does nothing
to the sheet that lays over my eyes
where there is no light to hide
the waking world
well. i really need to stop being a teenage girl and write some non romance-y stuff and actually try to write something i wont be embarrassed to read in three years.
— The End —