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E Dec 2020
I don't know what I am anymore
I'm too self obsessed not to care
as if I don't pass by a mirror every hour and stroke my ****** hair
standards of cis normativity never make sense
they don't make sense more than ever
why be like everyone else
when I'm already the outcast
whats the point to stop expression
whats the point to stop..my expression?
of my experience
of my encounters
of my existence
my identity will be radical
with or without cis validation
my happiness is resistance
with or without standards
we were not meant to fit in
so outgrowing it is suitable
Questioning my identity as a trans male and how I fit into society. Although I do not identify as my ***, AFAB, that does not mean I align with male roles, neither male expectations. I align more masculine and am repulsed by being misgendered, but can embrace femininity now that I see myself the way I've viewed myself for over ten years.
Max Dec 2020
My stomach pokes out a little bit
But that’s normal isn’t it

Every look and stare gives me a scare
I’m big and bold but liking the attention is rare

Please don’t look at me
I’m not that interesting

I’m just trying to get by
Do my best not to die

I hate how I look
From my ****, to my hips, to my thighs to everything UGH

Why must I look like a girl
When I just want to be a random entity in this world

Gender is confusing
Looks are deceiving
But you hella know my confidence is fleeting

So please don’t look at me
It’s really scary

Don’t tell me I’m cool
I feel like a fool

Just leave me alone
Why do you think I never pick up my phone

I am just an imposter in this freaky society
Not a man, nor a woman, just kinda in-between

So don’t look at me
Don’t perceive me
I already feel I don’t exist

Don’t look at me deep in my eyes
For you’ll start to hear all my cries
From the nights where I hated myself the most
To the days where I can’t take it anymore

So please
Don’t look at me.
Max Nov 2020
Who knew a gift of birth could cause such pain

That a name could make tears fall like rain

Who could have foreseen such destruction

Caused by a word used for introduction

They created a kind little girl

Ended up with an angry alien in the world

Every time I hear that name all I feel is shame

They say it to mock me it seems

When it’s heard, I rip at the seams

For I am not what I was meant to be

I am not her and she was never me.
GothicWonderland Sep 2020
Dearest Flower,

I know you have suffered
that you suffer still
but know this
that I love you
no matter your name
no matter your pronouns
no matter your size
no matter your shape
you are you
and that is who
I fall in love with
every day
I love YOU
no matter how
you define yourself

Love your Boyfriend
GothicWonderland Sep 2020
I fell in love.
they are so beautiful
they are them
enby is an exotic way
to say handsome and amazing
in every single way
cleo Aug 2020
i am not a woman. but
my time in the shadows
has taught me
how best to love them.

yes, i have loved others
but my capacity
for loving women
is unmatchable.

years of denial,
turns to regret-
fueled yearning for
a love ‘unattainable’

until now.

what a gift it is
to love and be loved by
a woman.
part 3/3
Jamie Frederick Aug 2020
A mask that everyone could see
Something to hide behind
A “shield” for me

It stung like needles
Burned like a brand
This mask placed by a hollow hand

I could never be rid of it
Never just be free
For what would my family think of me

It took a push from someone
A helpful hand
To finally remove that burning brand

They helped me take off the mask
Saw what was inside
And accepted me as I sat there and cried

They gave me a space
A place to be free
Until I was able to finally be me

I went to see my family
Without the mask, in open air
I steeled myself to be prepared


But instead of yelling
Of bitter frost
I found that my hope was not lost

I met with acceptance
Knowing care
A hearth’s warmth and gentle air

One day I left the mask behind
Not just for that day, but for all time
The burning brand, the stinging mark
Left in that closet in the dark
I wrote this about my experience coming out as well as the dysphoria I experienced (and still do experience). I've been out for a few years now, but I wanted to write this. This is my first published poem on here. I hope that you all enjoy.
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