Thrashing around with force, yeh
Never lived a situation so hopeless
The one who gives and keeps me alive
Has hatched the beast inside

It has been awaken
Control and strength it is gaining
My mind, it is breaking
But with no choice, the pain I keep taking

She says that mind's alright, goo
But I know that it's surely
I would **** me, if I could
But it'll make people sad

Must always think of someone else
Someone who isn't me
I am always giving help,
But for two years now, waiting for
Someone to give help to me

N.B.P.
N.B.P.
No Breaking Point
For me?
N.B.P.
N.B.P.
Writing away on a page
Is the only way I can express
What was anger now is rage

They disobeyed,
But I suffer
Did things their own way
Nearly caused a murer
(Me)
Need I say more?
What are my people for?

Crying, hurting inside
Emotions I tend to hide
Being normal I tried
Which led to my suicide...

Tendencies, it is SO ME.
Alive, I don't want to be
They keep on torturing me
Especially my own family...

Mother, she won't believe
She makes me want to leave
True self I cannot reveal
What greatness can I achieve?

Think a little harder, start trying,
Someone you know is dying
Open your ears, open your eyes and try to
Don't let us be lost to suicide

Silent screams,
Not just my dreams,
What I experience's real
It makes me what to ****,
Let this, my body be still

I don't know, ever since, I remember, when I'd hurt myself
Didn't really pay attention to the pain, I wouldn't ask for help
I didn't believe in talking to people, for what could they do?
Time and time again, my belief is proving itself true.

I don't know, I'm so tired, why won't anyone believe?
Is there any hope? Where is help? Can I truely reveal
My perspective, my suicidal tendencies, the way I feel?
Who can I turn to that's human who can rescue me?

Claw marks from my nails on my belly, oh!
I try, but physical pain cannot seem to hurt me, no!
Only my words can do me any damage so,
Why my neurons must act s slow,
Why must they be so...

Mean?

They make me cry,
Bash my head on a wall, hurt myself and scream
Not from the pain, but because of the pain that I wouldn't feel
Wondering if this thing called ' pain' is real,
But It's just me!

****** papillaes on the tips of my canines, oh!
Bite salt and sugar, though my teeth are sensitive like woah!
Even when i stopped lying and let some other persons know
Many didn't accept me, but they would treat me so...

Mean!

Am I unwanted because of the pain that I wouldn't feel?
I wouldn't feel physical pain pain but words can still damage me.

Little cuts can get infectiona, turn into wounds
That never heal...

Is this a cure I'm seeking
Or someone to diagnose me?
Stuck in my own ballad,
Can't seem to set myself free,
Can't seem to set myself free...

Schizophrenia is killing me,
It makes me act so inhumane
Because I am an 'unknown' ******,
Living "life" is a real pain
I'm totally convinced that its driving me more insane
I need a change
I lost enough, let me gain.

Is this revenge I'm seeking
Or someone to advenge me?
Stuck in my own paradox
I wanna set myself free,
I wanna set my free..

Justification killing me,
But killing isn't justified!
What is happening to me, I am feeling so terrified
What do I do with all the hurt and pain?
Them, I just hide
Most times I cry
But I lock them all up inside.

Your acid gnaws at my wounds
My wounds bloom for the world to see
Your acid's slowly killing me.

Your venom flows in my veins
It cause me so much hurt and pain
Forever, shall it poison me?
Your vemon's slowly killing me

I Shove It Down
I shove down,
Just push away the pains
Don't think about,
Just shove it down

I can't complain
For they won't listen
So all that I do, did,
I.S.I.D.

I'm 'k...
ling me ever so slowly but surely,
I'm 'k...
ling me and now one's there to stop me.
I'm dying, no one's crying for
This dead body to be
I lost reasons for living
They are blind, they cannot see

...Just 'k...
ling me,
Just 'k...
ling me...

Never thought I'd be my own Undertaker
Never knew in me there is an UnMaker!
Still waiting for things to get better
But it seems like forever...

Dark Dreaming Dexter, a book by Jeff Lindsay
Made me realize my closeness to insanity

Not allowed to ****
But I just will...

...if you hatch me
never enough entropy
welcome insanity
hey there, psychopathy
be free numerous noices
how much? infinity...

...punish me for their vices
they ignored all my voices
make me pay for their crimes...

I'D BE DEAD RIGHT NOW, BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND THE TIME

Pitter patter-
My tears on these white tiles
I feel the pain but tell myself it will be for a short while
Another person, another person who think of cutting off their life line
I wish I'd live a simple yet satisfying lifetime.

Littler streams running down, running down my face
I want to disappear, don't want to be in this place
Finally could see why suicide is a big 'craze'
I may be alive but not living, I just go with the days.

As I get older, I get better at telling lies
When I was young(er), I was brave, but now I'm painfully shy
Persons around me keep changing for the worst, I don't know why
To make it in their world very hard I try.