What is contained in those years prefacing our story?
Memory is a fickle thing-
Pieces of mine have been left in storm drains and deep closets
Give me what you can-
the frayed shoelaces from fifth grade and clip on ties from homecoming dances
We can trade these like baseball cards-
the patch of woods behind my childhood home for when you learned how to ride a bike
Could you spare the day you knew your mom would leave?
You can have the time I realized silence is tangible when you want company- it rests heavy on your chest as you sit alone at the table .
I take what we've traded and tuck it between my floorboards, in the panels of my walls, in my window frame
What was contained in those years before us is safe in my woodwork as you gift it to me
And the years to come will hold pieces of me

There is the one girl that speaks
And when she is at her peak
You sit and think about everything you missed
or the people who coexist
But its towards the end of her speech you’ll cry
Trust me you will never find out why
You might look back and realize
That every word she said was a lie.  
-the one who spoke in sunsets
Then comes the one that thinks
She’ll think even when on the brink
Of mental insanity
Oh the humanity!
What will happen to her?
She only sees the blur
Of what her life could be
If only she were able to see
-the one who needs glasses
I felt bad for the invisible
The one who was never able
To make herself feel seen
Maybe I was just mean,
But no matter
She was only a scatter
Of what made a personality
Unfortunately, hers lacked finality.
-the one who I thought I knew
The one who felt
Was who I got dealt,
I saw her at my lunch table,
And wondered if she were stable.
Her eyes sparkled a delicate no.
She was always able to bestow
Emotions of what she wanted onto others,
She never was able to recover
Once they left out the front door
With her lying on the dance floor.
-the one I left on the dance floor
Finally, there is me,
For so long I was lost at sea
But I came back to shore
And Oh!, I just adore
What I have become!
I don’t want this to be done.
I refuse to go back to how I once was
Because
Lies I can never untell,
Because
I’ll never forgot my mother’s face
Because that was never who I wanted to be
And all three years were agony.
      -the poet who wished for better

By the time you're 11
And in middle school
The pressure will be high
And too much
And you'll be squeezed
Into a quark.

You think that one day
Your heart might stop
Sometimes you can be scared
And sometimes you’re not

Sometimes you want to die
Sometimes you don’t
It depends on who you’re with
And what’s going on

Being depressed
Or bipolar isn’t easy
It isn’t fun either
Always ruining moments

You want to know why
You’re life’s upside down
But you can never find out
Because you can’t slow down

Know you’re not alone
There are others like you
Who want to be happy
But have no reason to

Middle School
Full of friends and love
Hate and lust
Being thrown under the bus

Doing the right thing
Is harder than it sounds
Harder than it looks, too
Always wanting to be found

Rescued from the abyss
That feeds off of your sadness
That doesn’t know when to stop
That will make you collapse

Needing support
Wherever you can find it
Taking it from others
If it means peace

Life upside-down
Never know how
To turn your life over
That frown upside-down

So when you find peace
Wherever you find it
You never want to leave it
But sometimes you must

Coming back to resurface
After all the sadness
You see the world differently
Then you saw it before.

People can help
But sometimes they don’t
Sometimes they think their helping
But really they’re not

Don’t fall for the lies
The deceptions they place
To try and make you come with them
And do the wrong things

Because in the end, you’ll find
You never wanted to be with them
You just want to be you
And not just some hologram

Embrace who you are
And what you’ve gone through
No matter what it is
Walk up with open arms

Take what you have
And don’t worry about what you don’t
Because in the end, you’ll find
There’s nothing wrong with you

You’ve been through high times
And low ones, too
But no matter what had happened
You found your way through

Through the darkness, you emerged
Opening your eyes
To a new world of color
Without wearing a disguise

Learning who you are
Can change how you act
Change how you feel
Even change how you react

Because now you know
How to see in color
No longer in the darkness
World seeming brighter

Every day can be a good one
If you know how to live it
All you have to do
Is change how you see it

Let's pretend that I can dance tonight
Who needs friends? Who needs day's light?
I'll pretend I can whip and pirouette
Let's see how far into the night I get
One hour, two hours, three crowds and four
My vision is blurry but I'll dance some more
I wonder how that boy did his coat and his hair
I gotta get out to the garden's frigid air
Who needs the friends from schools that you know?
Who needs that cute guy when the dances get slow?
All I need is the beat that shakes the ground
And the dusk induced feeling of no one else being around
With the last song of the night
The cops push us out without a fight