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Leash Apr 18
I thought a single line of white dust up your right nostril can numb away the pain
That countless nights of drunken stupors could make me forget
That constantly telling myself I'm just experimenting and not suppressing
Hoping one day I'd forgive him but only finding myself regretting
You see I'm not addicted to the substance
I'm addicted to blame, blaming him for the pain
I'm addicted to the anger, the anger that he triggers when i realize I'm turning into him.

Always intoxicated on some other ailment. Intoxicated on the lustful idea that we could be the perfect pair
but now all i think is how i wasn't good enough, how K & L are your legacy, and I'm just a girl who you once said you loved, but don't bother to acknowledge.

You see dad, I denied my anger for so long
Said it was all in my head
but now i realize, I forgive you, because the more hate i fuel the more hate i feel

Is it too late?
Zelda Feb 28
At random hours of the night
I'll send you a joke
Because I wake up from nightmares
Where you've been ripped from my life

I'm trapped inside a house with spiders
Surrounded by canary-colored walls
I'm afraid of Virginia Woolf
and all the words she ever wrote
I don't want to feel such things anymore

You call me up
But don't say a thing
What's there to say?
Would it change your mind?
Would it make a difference?

I'm too old to pretend
On the midnight train
I know we won't make it
I'm too old to believe
In words and young hearts
I'm too old to feel like a child
On the midnight train
We'll go our separate ways
At the end of the line

When I say, when I say, when I say...
I'm met with silence

My whispers could never be louder than all the politics (Suicidal thoughts)

What you mean, what you mean, what you mean...
Will always be,"Goodbye"

What do I know?
I'm afraid of Virginia Woolf
What was I thinking?
and all the words she ever wrote

At random hours of the night
I'll send you a joke
Because I wake up from nightmares
Where you've been ripped from my life
Updated poem - August 2, 2024
Most prison walls
are not made of stone
the thickest ones
are flesh and bone
Today an old friend came to visit.
Not completely unannounced, but
not particularly invited.

The kind of friend
that once served you well,
but their ways grew outdated
when you made it out of hell.

When the pain settled to trauma,
it became entirely something else.
But your friend thinks they know best
and give involuntary help.

The kind of friend
that's over bearing
and embeds into
the skin you're wearing.

Stitching in bad habits.
Manifesting your mistakes.
The friend you try to distance from,
but you can't seem to shake.

The kind of friend
you grow apart from
once your time there
is done.

Even though you're better off,
you still wonder where they are.
The kind of friend you dearly miss,
but must love them from afar.

Well, that friend...

Came knocking at my skull today.

(They told me they might be in town,
but I didn't bother to reply.)

Quick, shut off all the lights.
Quiet, try to hide.
Maybe if I'm gone,
they won't try to come inside.

But resting in the silence,
is a small child's cry.

And they know exactly,

where,

to find

me.


▪︎ mica light ▪︎
KarmaPolice Jan 29
I'm hidden by barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
But you can see me

I'm muted by noise
That you cannot hear
My screams fall silent
I'm frozen in fear

The pressure builds
My mind is racing
You fail to see
The struggles I'm facing

The room is spinning
My heart's beating fast
Thoughts creeping in
How long will they last?

I sit here vacant
I'm traumatised
I failed to answer
You.... recognised

Pounding your desk
Screaming my name
Jumbled words
Repeating again

I don't know the answer
I want to reply, but..
I keep blanking out
I can't explain why

In front of the class
You call out my name
"I've told you twice..
I'm not explaining again!"

I'm hidden by the barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
Until quarter past three

By Darren Wall
KarmaPolice Jan 29
His senses held him prisoner
Overwhelmed and alone
Walls were his burden
The light too much to bear
The soaked linen of yesterday's news
Stained of fear from battles before
He needs to be cradled
Yet no one comforts him
He rocks back and forth
Rhythmic on the floor
Anemic screams suffocate
Silence fills the void
That breaks with a rasp
Sirens in the distance
They did not come for him
Noise bleeds through gaps
Like it did before
He weeps
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