LEARN FROM THE OWL!
Many of us think of the owl
As a foolish, ugly fowl:
It can neither strut like a peacock,
Flaunting colourful plumes,
Nor, like the shy nightingale,
Sweetly sing, every spring:
But the sages of ancient Greece,
Seeing  the night bird's virtues rare,
Said nothing foul about the owl,
Admired its bright round eyes,
Sharp and keen, able to see its way
And fly in the darkness of night:
Eyes, quite strange, looking not sideways,
But always straight and always right
And quickly turn its agile neck
And see all things happening
Behind its back as  well as front!
In all directions ,the owl can see
But, from different angles do we ever see?
Boastful humans, full of pride,
Who speak ill of the humble owl
Can scarcely match the skilful owl,
And a poet who loved this little bird, wrote -
"A wise old owl sat on an oak,
The more he saw, the less he spoke,
  The less he spoke the more he heard,
   Why can't we be, like the wise old bird!?"
                  *** M.G.Narasimha Murthy,
Hyderabad, India.

At first he said hi and he treated you with respect, something you never thought you could get.

Suddenly he leaves and for a day you do not see him

You begin to think, I wonder what he is into, how is he doing.

Realizing you've cling to someone you are into but don't truly know what he is about, yet it  doesn't bother you, for it is he you let your guard down hoping one day you can feel what you felt before.

How could you ignore such a feeling.

Then that day comes the day you see him again, in that same building standing in the same line maybe a few people ahead, but he is right in front of you.

He says hi and he treats you with respect, you say hi and do something you regret.

Somehow now he has changed and u wouldn't believe some of the thing he be saying.

Treating you with neglect, giving you disrespect, he just played his cards right just to give you good ****.

Now you question your heart, insecure torn apart. you took a chance but the state he left you in ....
tears and pain from the disconnect ...

-ShaiSoul

There are numbers
that add up to
the madness that is
my heart.

They subtract fuel from my being
and divide me
from my goals.

Hashtag Madness.
Hashtag Maniac.
Hashtag Morbid.

Perhaps a hashtag
is really just a buffer.

Meet my words with your own, make me feel something again.
Is it blunt of me to wish
you'd write me a
palace?

Once more, just once.

Write to me, and help me feel.

I'm picky. I like who I like, and that region does NOT include everyone, far from it.

Maybe my selectiveness is my downfall, it leaves me alone more often  than not.

But do you deny me my wish
to be wanted
to be loved
to belong

I had never fallen that hard
And no, I've never classified my feelings as love
and the same applies there
but I can't help but wonder
what I did wrong

It keeps me up until the words aren't words anymore
but rather spikes behind my eyes
waiting to impale me
as soon as I know she's moved on.

I know it won't be hard for her, and that's not a jab at her amazing self.

I'm just too willing. And easy to forget.

Why are Sleep and I no longer friends?

We used to spend so much time together, used to be so close, wasting hours in idle chatter about meaningless and skewed ideas and figments of our imaginations.

But now, when I come knocking at her door, there is no response. It's like she's ****** at me, for reasons I can't understand. But it's not unlike her to leave me alone to the tortures of my Mind when I need her most.

While I lay and wait to hear from Sleep, Mind weasels his way into my conciousness, sitting down and pretending to feel sorry for the thoughts he has created within me.

And that's where it all starts.

Example; last night.

Remember? Hannah, do you remember?

Do you remember when you had it all within your grasp and you said NO to spare someone else's feelings...but didn't spare your own?

Do you recall the two hours of waiting between words that would make the suicidal feelings within me rise from a puddle to a tsunami?

Do you recollect the pulse that assaulted your eardrums as you tried to block me out, but couldn't?

Do you?

He taunts me thus until an ungodly hour until he finally allows Sleep to enter, and I am too tired to socialize with her.*

Someone, please tell me why.

Why does my mind hate me, why do I shake more than smile, why do I cry more than laugh...

And why can't I ever get it right? Why do I always hurt everyone I know? Why can't I make myself as happy as I wish I could by making others?

And God, why can't I have just one little sliver of happiness? For just an hour? A minute? A nanosecond?

How little do I deserve?

How is it that my intuition, usually so on my side, can be wrong?

Perhaps it's not.

It tells me that you hate me. That you want nothing to do with me after how I reacted. That you wanted to say it much earlier but just wanted to spare yourself my reaction. That I'm way too sensitive.

I wish these things were wrong but I've no intention to assume so, not after thinking things over until 4 am when my brain and my heart are crying out for rest.

My intuition tells me to believe that it's not your fault. That it's happened the same way so many times before- I'm told no, then a rebounding yes, then an overwhelming no that leaves me in a shell-like trance gasping for air and grappling for hold of my emotions. It wasn't you, it was Fate. I'm not allowed to be happy, how is that your fault?

I wish this was not how life had chosen to treat me, but how can I change the patterns it has set for me? I can't expect that things are going to miraculously become one hundred ten degrees better because of a ****** set of words I post on a site where no one reads. Even if I were posting on billboards, it'd make my situation that much more laughable.

Maybe it's my mental state. Maybe it's the insane amount of time I have to spare in which I let my feelings elevate too much, scaring off any possible chance there ever was of perhaps feeling whole for the first time in I can't even remember how long.

Maybe it's my intuition.

Maybe it's Fate.

We were better off together.

The late night conversations, the happiness, the snuggling into the covers ad sighing at sweet messages from a dimly lit screen

We were better off paired, like jeans--who wants only one leg?

The intake of breath when our eyes met, the constant need to be touching in some way, the flurry of butterflies we gave to each other

We were better off squared, where we could always protect each other

And now I'm left to wonder--do you feel as raw as I do?

Rawer and more exposed than I've ever felt, yet little to do to remedy it....I want that second layer wrapped around me.

But when I reach for it....it's never there.

The reflection in my glassy irises
wasn't what I wanted
I envisioned us going places.
We didn't. It's alright.

I just wish I knew
what you think of me
now that everything is through....
and I'm long long gone.

I'll repeat and repeat and repeat
it wasn't your fault, the blame's on my mind
and though everything you said was sweet
My brain decided it meant more.

So please forgive my starry eyes
they know not what they do
the hurt they earned was no surprise
because of the hurt they caused you