Please just let me know
if you feel anything for me,
I've been alone for so long that
I could use even a stone for company.

Was stupid until I met you
It was even more stupid after I lost you

You are too far away to embrace
am all out caught in the cold of loneliness
and your arms are my only home

I think no matter how distant we grow
no matter how far apart we go
no matter the success I achieve
or the length of life I live
no matter the many I meet
deeply fall in love with and admit
You will always be here, in my heart
no matter the amount of hurt.
No matter the many lonesome boulevards I walk
and the words I hear and those I talk
even when time comes to steal these memories away,
or heal the wounds and scars
I pray
she discerns the wounds and scars are stars
pointing me due north because
without the memories of our together am a lost cause
which is the absolute truth, you were my radar
and I can't move on for you were my bridge
that despite the number of bottles I empty
I just can't touch the sky; no quantity of liquor can get me high.
How can I without you? you were my stairs and ladder
without which my very reality is under siege…
You are my jailer, and only you have the keys to set me free.

It makes me look weak,            
                        My tears leaks…      
                My eyes are sore          
        My heart is a bore          
  and My body repeats a painful encore.              

                  I dust away the sad memories,                                        
but it comes along like it’s my adversaries.                  

I hate sadness
It shakes my reality, a piercing faithfulness
                towards my soulful unhappiness.

I don’t need help,
    but in truth I am lying to myself.

You’ll never know, what comes and goes
    yet I am stuck between my toes.

I hunger for that light
    but all that comes is my arresting night.

Perhaps I am doom with my own gloominess.
Starvation and Weariness
                  is a consolation of my messiness
~ a choice with laziness,
         to ponder and wonder
                    to the world’s unending sadness.



*© Pax  September, 2013

we treasured the moment so much we didn't see another day
for when it felt like paradise, we forgot to pray...
we said every word there was to say
and what's more?
We held so tight until we squeezed each other away.

I still feel my heart shutter
but i guess it doesn't matter
*it was just a lesson to teach me never
to believe those who promise forever.

Is what it'll take
but I'll learn to live without you
and if I fail to do
I'll try and fake...