I smile
I laugh
I play the part
While none the wiser

It’s easy to hide
The emotions deep inside
After all I’ve done it all my life
It’s second nature to me

You see this happy face
A face full of fun and joy
Nothing could be wrong
..Right?

The facade is perfect
Even my mother who raised me
Could never tell what lurks below
Those shining sky-like eyes

No one sees beyond this guise
Not even the old and wise
For if they did their gaze would change
To one that’s fearful of my path

For below the kind demeanor
There’s nothing there
Emotions driven out
Heart locked tight

To afraid to fight
The bitterness of life
For behind closed doors
All that’s left is silence

Bitter silence
Painful silence
Ears ringing
Head heavy

And that’s then the voices
Come out to play
Sending you deeper
Into the darkness of your mind

Angry voices
Vicious voices
Disgusted and condescending
Hateful and spiteful

Uttering insults
Running scenarios
Warping your mind
Destroying your ability to trust

And there you sit
Broken and numb
Feeling nothing but emptiness
And the bitter snap of true loneliness

Loneliness that destroys you
Leaving you to feel dead inside
You start pulling away
Not telling anyone your truth

Constantly smiling and laughing
Without a care in the world
All while rotting inside
Til you’re nothing but a shell

and so I search
again
it is still there
fading
unnoticed
into the otherwise glowing abyss
this incredibly beautiful
incredibly lonely universe
this dying star
from eons past
a silent twinkle of light
if we happen to be looking
but the cries go unheard

I guess this,
isn’t to,
You.
But it,
kinda sorta,
is to,
Me,
instead.
If that even,
makes any sort,
of sense.
I just,
really wanted,
some sort,
of miracle,
to happen,
I don’t really,
know what,
that was,
or even,
wasn’t.
Maybe it’s,
nothing,
all I know,
it’s not,
something.
Farewell,
Me.

It was easier,
so much,
easier,
to not,
see,
your face,
when I hugged,
you tight,
so tight,
to say,
goodbye,
in my,
heart.
And I know,
you don’t,
realize,
that each time,
I expect,
your lips,
to press,
against,
mine.
But I must,
say so long,
in not,
just my,
heart,
but also,
my mind.
And yes,
it’s hard,
because you,
mustn’t truly,
know,
the torment,
I’m putting,
myself through,
because I,
have fallen,
deeply,
behind.
How grateful,
I am,
to the half moon,
tonight,
when I,
said my own,
goodbyes.

“You don’t,
have to,
worry about,
me.”,
she says.
Mouth ******,
after spitting,
out words,
covered in,
razor blades.
Maybe it’s something,
you can understand,
or maybe,
it’s something,
that makes you want to run,
straight to Neverland,
and dim witted,
Peter Pan.
“You should,
probably,
worry about,
me.”,
she should,
have said.
But words covered,
with cotton,
tend to cut,
much deeper,
than the ones,
not.