Happy birthday to me.
I wish I were hanging from a tree.

My face says it all, you did it again.
Yet knowing you had the right intentions, you still left me alone to wake up by myself.
I cried myself to sleep for the first Time in a long while, and I was alone to endure it all.
Nothing can be forgiven at this point, I’m beyond hurt.
I’m beyond shattered and the one person who wasn’t suppose to do that, ended up doing it anyways.
I crave you, I love you, I adore you, I need you just as much as I need him.
At least he was there to comfort me in my dreams, you left again..

Yes, I am sensitive,
And you know this
Ever since 'then' I haven't been the same

But you still
Say hurtful things

I can't help but ask:
Must I leave?

I've tried before and
I can only assume that
You don't or you didn't
Want me to go through with it.
Kind of hard to tell,
Your constant yelling and threats
were hard to decipher

But now, you put
These situations in my head
And I can't help but feel
Unwanted

I feel like a big baby,
And not the adorable kind

My voice becoming more
And more whiny and annoying
To my ears

That's why I refuse to rebut
I don't want to hear her voice

I feel like I'm
Locking a promise
Deep in the centre
Of my rapidly beating heart

A promise to go
A promise that'll make sure
That you won't need to insult
Or reprimand me again

But then I think of you
Being the one blamed
For my departing
For pushing me to the brink of insanity

I can't help but
agree with such
accusations

I think I might leave
Or I might chicken out again

My point is,
You knew and still know
I wish you didn't
So that this promise
Wouldn't be locked so tightly

I'm sorry.
I wish I hadn't said what I said.
I can see that you're trying.
I know you've changed.
I want my room back.
I want my home back.
I want my family to be pieced back together.
I miss feeling useful.
I haven't felt anything but sad since I left.
I need that light back in my life.
I want to cry but
I have to stop the tears.
I hate being apart from you.
I just want to go home.

Alone
In a dark
Quiet room,
She lies on the floor.
Guilt swirling through her mind.

"But I'm better," she lies to herself.

The dusty mirror begs to differ
The voices in her head don't approve.
She can't stop thinking about the fat in
Her thighs
Her face,
Her stomach.
She pulls her hair away and
Gives in.

"It won't happen again," she lies to herself.

Alone
In a dark
Quiet room
She lies
In a casket.