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Daniel J Weller Jul 2018
I
Sat bored in chairs, I
Watch the potted leaves growing
Like my impatience

II
Keep reading my work
And I'll watch my flowering
Narcissism bloom

III
Tell me I am good
Please tell me that I am good
I am good... aren't I?
Fitzrovia, London, July 2018
Manda Raye Jul 2018
Remember the long drives we used to take
down Pacific Coast Highway? The only road
worth traveling in the thick summer heat.
Pick your poison and wrap it in a palm leaf,
tell ourselves it's natural while we light it with a wick.
Manda Raye Jun 2018
Oh darling, you make me grateful
for gloomy summer days. The only way
I can feel close when you're so far away,
or gone entirely, or everywhere at once, I don't know
how it works. All I know is you're not here,
and wolves parade in friendly forged masks,
wishing their energy could be even
a fraction of yours. Pretending
they spend theirs the same ways as you.

Only you and I know the truth.
The darkness you hid from most
that I was so honored to share with you.
We'd remind each other to come up for air,
each stuck in our downward,
spiraling undersea dreams.

There was no one else like us.
I'll never be quite whole again. True love
that was never in love--the thing about us
is we are made of it. We were the packing peanuts
around all those we love, but when
there was no longer enough the box emptied out,
and I stay here still wishing it might fill.
Manda Raye Jun 2018
We travel the same paths every day,
usually the same paths, the same way.
The same paths between our homes and
wherever we regularly might have to go.
We know them, or rather, maybe, it is
our feet that do, because if you asked me the way
I’d tell you a series of here’s and there’s. I’d tell you
I remember to turn left at that light, because
if you don’t you’ll have to pass the house
that fooled me for a month, feeding me
steak for dinner and inviting me back
to fall asleep on red satin sheets. I’d mention
how I’ve thrown up at that gas stop, and
how it was my soulmate who first took me
to the dive bar we just passed, which means
you should left again when you see a tall, lonely tree.
I’d tell you then that when I’m sad, I take
the roads closest to the sea, so I can finish my coffee
or hear the end of a song on the radio.
I might not get you there, in fact I might leave you
more lost than you began. But you’ll find your way.
Wherever we go we have been before,
We can trust in our feet and not lose our way.
Manda Raye Jun 2018
I’m pulling out grass,
wishing to feel closer to you.
I convince myself that it’s okay,
that I’m better, because I’ve learned
the beautiful craft of distraction.

I make sure there is always sound
vibrating off my walls, never a dull moment
in this skull. Numb it with herbs and every
time a voice goes low, drown it out
with stronger voices, any voices,
just never music. Or I’ll end up
right back where I began.

I’m pulling out grass
wishing to feel closer to you.
But instead I inhale, blink back
tears, pull myself off the ground.
It’s easier to carry on feeling nothing at all.
Manda Raye Jun 2018
Something about
the way you hold a cigarette
makes me twirl beneath my skirt.
Sinister swirls release and retract
as they slip up out of your lips
like snakes. You should quit,
I tell you you should quit
as I curl into your lap like a kitten
and thank you for smoking.
Hannah Christina Jun 2018
I don't mean to only express myself
Let's turn our gaze outward to something else
Because really, we're nothing
reflections and vapors
our lives seem so long to us then as time tapers
down to the end
it's
getting faster again
and it's time that, my friend
in this time that you spend
looking out for yourself realize your wealth and your life and your thoughts they are
just
so
small.
I'm nothing at all but a freckle of dust
but looking around there are millions of us
there's a picture out there taking shape so we must
have courage and dare to strip off all our lust for
our own affirmation
our self-presentation
must find a foundation in something much bigger than us.
As you cry to be heard pause and listen to hear
for when long you have listened the Light will draw near
and you'll find all the words that you cannot deserve
so please gather the nerve discontent to preserve
And climb outside and point out to the stars over hills
and from you the joy and the knowledge will spill
For expression is best when it's not just for you
My confession is this, let it always be true.
I think this one is best read as spoken word/ slam.  If there are parts where the rhythm feels off let me know!
Manda Raye Jun 2018
I keep a sweater of yours
always, darling, it warms my
legs up in the car
those cold mornings you aren't there
to hold me
as I descend into the world.
Johnny Noiπ May 2018
I grew up w/ women drumming
into my head what a 'real man'                                                   is
w/ profoundly conflicting messages:
men are nurturing protectors &                                            providers
but also berserk barbarians who just
**** **** **** w/ extreme prejudice.
men are feted like warrior-kings but
act like petulant overgrown children;
responsible for making society                                             function
while playing like naughty children.

toys, sports, strong drink & pretty                                         girls...
no wonder people worship god.
god is an adult. except when it's a                                  baby-king,
which again is a weird concept                                   although
in India they worship little girls as
cosmic queens; weirder still in light
of the ancient custom of child                                         marriage.

I love u w/ every dream in my heart...
why are daffodils everywhere in the                                book?

Narcissus poeticus (poet's daffodil,
poet's narcissus, nargis, pheasant's eye,
findern flower, and pinkster lily)
was one of the first daffodils to be                                     cultivated,
and is frequently identified as the
narcissus of ancient times (although
Narcissus tazetta and Narcissus                                     jonquilla
have also been considered as                                                possibilities).­

It is also often associated with the                                     Greek
legend of Narcissus. It is the type                                                species
of the genus Narcissus and is widely
naturalized in North America.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_poeticus
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