What shade is my soul
I don't really know.
Sometimes it's dark,
Sometimes it's bright.
Just like the year
Has it's four seasons,
My soul changes shades
For no real good reason.
Just like a dog
That has been abused,
When you are near me
My soul's not amused.
I'll stay away,
You'll do the same.
You no more care,
My soul's shade is grey.

It took me ages to learn how to separate we from I
and to finally see the person I suppose
Everyone else saw; the “I”
presented in peals of laughter and a love
too intense for either of us to bear. My
love, a hurricane, beautiful from a distance but riddled with scars.

I do it because
everyone needs a taste of unconditional. They
blister and spiral because they have
yet to learn…to know how it feels to have stayed.

It’s something that you learn to live with,
to always have a piece of “Me”
left behind, initials in a heart that no longer
knows that letter of the alphabet. I am missing more than
I should, but I have retained what is most
important. In a sea of capsized people,
There is one letter I will always have.
    - I

Never be like some coloring book: written and drawn on,
ruined then passed on;  
by multiple people threw out the years....

Your life deserves more..

Be like an entire book series:
Fulfilled with depth and glory,
Surviving great falls and peaks;
You are the author and only you can choose....

To inspire greatness and growth,
Or to bow and admit defeat;
But only you, have the power to choose....

You taught me to be like this
to be physically here and mentally there
You taught me to disappear from the face of the earth when i felt like it
to leave if that's what it takes
To retain my sanity.

You taught me to reflect
on the state of life mid-conversation
To never apologise because reflection
is not a sin and you'd be here
when i came back ready to hear
that I've changed my mind about
everything except you because
i can't bear
To be the intolerant type of person
that subscribes to labels and promotes
fear of love that comes in different shapes, forms and colours.

You taught me to be like this
You taught me to be ever-present but never-visible
You taught me it's okay to feel like this
Like i was shrouded in magic because i was so **** invisible
To everyone else except you because
"My love, this us-thing is not so simple", you said right after the i-love-you or at least i think so
I don't know. I zoned out for a while there but I'm sure you said so.

You taught be like this.
You taught me to hide in the spotlight
Because they can never come for me there.
You taught me to use the bright lights
as a distraction and they would never know that I'm gone you taught me to that dreaming is not only for the night
you said i could do it with my eyes wide open in the broad daylight in the middle of a demanding crowd.

You taught me to leave the way you did you left, but you called it reflection
Of the way things were things are things should be of perception of the way humans are humans should strive to be to be honest i felt like a distraction. Like you were meantfor bigger things than me but i didn't leave because you were a manifestation of everything life should be plus you said it was only "reflection".
And i could do it too because you'd be here when i got back
But you are not here
Why are you not here?
You're not here
Did i not hear you properly?
I'm sure i did.
You're not here and i can't hear the sound of your voice anymore so I'm always absent trying to reach you over there, in my mind.
But don't fault me you showed me this
You taught me to leave and you called it reflection because that's how you saw it i still see it as education
Because you taught me this.