truth
i miss you.
you were my breath.
you kissed me,
and it was like
a thousand butterflies
ignited in my chest
and my lungs provided the oxygen
that fed the flame.
your lips
were the wind beneath their wings
the wind beneath mine
i would be lying if i said
that i don't miss
flying.

lie
i hate you.
i never loved you in the first place
the same way that you never loved me.
i want you to feel the same pain
that i have
i want you to know that you are
the throbbing of my head
because i got drunk off of your lips
and i can't ******* escape the hangover
you were a propellor
and i was just a curious fish
who came too close and you destroyed me
i was happiness
and you were depression

truth
you assaulted me.
you ***** me
you tore out my heart
and you spat on it
because you knew how much i hated the feeling
of being worthless.
your head was the hunger
and i was your ******* cigarette
you burned me
and it made you feel good
and as much as i hate to say it
it made me feel good too.
you were addicted to the ash in your throat
i was addicted to the burning of my body
destroyed until i was nothing but your plaything
and i still ******* love you for it.

lie
i regret everything
the i love you's
the i'm sorry's
the hello's
i wish i never let you back into my heart
after you pillaged everything we could have been
i hated it
i hated the way it made me feel
when you waltzed right back in
after you betrayed me
i didn't feel any comfort
i didn't feel anything
but hatred

truth
we were a beautiful calamity
a collision of red and blue and white
blood, sky, and ice
that i saw once you knocked me down
and i couldn't help but stare
at the heart-shaped clouds
and think it was a message
that we needed to stay together
you were my destruction
you were my self hatred
you were my bullet
and i was your ******* blood
coursing excitedly through your heart
as you watched me writhe and die
when my heart gave out
from loving you too much.

Depression is an eternal sunrise.
Everything is entangled in black for a very long time,
and then the horizon flickers
and you can notice a beautiful rosy glow
as the sun peaks its sliver of a crest
over the mountaintops.
But it is just out of reach.
Sure, it's beautiful,
but it's more dark than anything.
Cold.
Unfinished.
Depression traps you forever
in that one moment
before the sun is risen
and before night has fully ended.
There is an end in sight
but it is not close enough.
No, it is never close enough.

Tick, tock, tick, tock
Every hour chimes the clock
Reminding us of slipping time
And hours long forgotten.

Tick, tock, tick, tock
My every breath feels out of stock
The air is cold and eery
As I lay your corpse in cotton.

Tick, tock, tick, tock,
My heart is a cold black rock
Whose face is gone, all washed away
Now we both are rotten.

Wake up
I need you
Read, 12:45 am

no you don't.
you don't need me.
you never have.

had i ever been worth anything to you
you would have fought to keep me
you would have stopped her from punching me
you would have stopped me when i attempted again
you wouldn't have made some ******* excuse

*******.
you don't need me
you never have

i am a killer with good intentions, angel
you saw as your wings held back the nightmares
you fell from heaven as i crawled from hell
but against all odds, you're the one who cares

sometimes angels miss heaven and safety
but i will make this place your second home
even if you've been feeling lost lately
i promise you will never feel alone

if i **** you one day please forgive me
the poison runs black through my veins on some days
i can control it if it's you i see
but sometimes i can't see past the mad daze

but when my eyes open, i see what i've done
that's when the real godly war has begun.

The way you look into his eyes
The way he looks into yours
It means the world to both of you
But you don't seem to know it
Not yet