I walked from place to place
Never leaving behind a trace

There's so many people I've left behind
To carry on, no matter how kind

Some things were harder to let go of
Maybe because some just had a stronger love

I've seen the most beautiful places
Befriended the kindest faces

And I've learned so much about myself too
Me leaving is something we never knew

It's for the better, at least I hope
Maybe this is just how I cope?

I'm sorry, I must go
I just wanted to let you know

I'll travel to where my heart can't feel pain
I'll leave you just to make me feel sane

My heart has belonged to many places throughout time
But with no home that I could call mine

I'm a shaking, crying mess
As the thoughts burn in my skin

I was sick of hiding it all
Everything from two years ago

I trust you enough to tell
And you remained there

Even though the poison is slipping off my tongue
All I can feel is a sweet symphony

But it fades quickly as I expect
For you to laugh and walk away

But you hold me there, in your arms
Even if I'm a shaking, crying mess

Even though my heart had just been ripped apart
You recognized that it could still love

i lit a match
to light a candle
to seal a letter
but
the match could not even do me the courtesy of burning to my fingertips.

You’re that feeling that burns
every time you’re filled, not spent
we go back to learn
It wasn’t what I meant

The strong promises and lines
that couldn’t be broken, you bent
among all the go around rhymes
It wasn’t what I meant

The absent truths and stains
of every little word stolen, you lent
only to borrow pain and play
It wasn’t what I meant

and when you finally understood
phrases couldn’t be ripped, but rent
now there’s that silent separation
It wasn’t what I meant.

All these weighted apologies spill
from my hands onto the wintered ground
There are moments in the day
when all the quiet burns
and the smoke inhabits these walls
but the possession of this rain
is never enough to wash out these lungs
or dilute this volatile pain
I was never good at speaking
always shied away from crowds
you were never one to stay quiet
always ran toward the loud
A cycle of oscillating seasons
I'm too in love with hating the cold
and far too familiar with the sound of rain but these birds, they're always calling
to new mornings and a sky of gold
and you sit here, waiting to hear your name as I clean up all the spills
from these weighted apologies
and pails of winter rain

i didn't intend
for it to seem pointed
that time the dog
accidentaly ******
on the
     church
              steps

So sometimes, I still double back,
To these little pretty things-
Where I entwine my written words
with depictive new meanings.

Happy birthday, I must first say
To my Albanian commerce kid.
When we met, then when I left, I
always appreciated all you did.
Next comes the apologizes, I'm sure you know what for
The fact that you showed up, for me?
Confirms it even more:

Julia Kruja, you're an incredible person- such a beautiful soul,
Its a blessing to call you 'friend', and remain someone you know.
With unconditional support- unwavering sincerity
whichever way things go.
Despite my lack of clarity, selfishness and pain- you're always there to meet with me, make plans again and again.

You instill this worth back in my soul, by treating me the same- removing judgement from your heart,
Regifting hope inside my brain.

Happy Belated Birthday my friend

Good neighbors, sweet friends, can you forgive me?

In long, still and creeping hours of study,
I can be stern and inaccessible.

My studies tax me to basest function,
resting, weight-like, on my wretched shoulders.
I, too-weary, ebb and at times, tend to
spare few feelings and gall, as if licensed.

Sometimes I go, unwillingly to class,
a melancholy lass. Please, if we talk,
speak gently. I labor under command,
and you may not be answered with reason.

Hereby hangs the tale, ladies just and fair.
Sleep, that dark medicine, has restored me,
my sanity and my better judgment.
Patiently receive my apology
and recall our many fun adventures.

I wish apologies were rewinds
that could go back to that place in time.
& make everything alright.

To go back to that kiss,
In your arms,
And feel blanketed in your warmth...

But instead I think back to that point in time,
Where unfortunately there is no rewind.
Forgiveness is in my heart,
But it also remembers to tread lightly.
It makes me think.

Think about you.
Think about me.
Think about the way things used to be.

I wish apologies could take it all back,
but in reality there are no rewinds.
Thankfully,
Things continuously move forward.
Even with trepedity.