I slipped—
not because I stopped feeling
but because I felt
too much.

And in that spiral,
I found the old part of me again—
the one that mistrusts beauty,
that scans every gift
for a blade.

You called it out.
You saw it happen.
You stayed.

Because in this crazy world,
it’s easier to believe
I’m a terrible person
than it is to believe
someone wonderful
could simply love me.

No performance.
No punishment.
Just presence.

So I flinched.
I questioned.
I compared myself
to the ghosts I imagined.

But it wasn’t you
I doubted.
It was the possibility
of being wanted
without a warning label.

You didn’t do anything wrong.
You were just being
you.

And I let my fear
speak louder than your truth.

I’m not asking to be forgiven.
I’m asking to be understood.
To be seen as someone
still learning
how to hold what’s good
without crushing it.

You were never the threat.

You were the offering.

holding little sewing pins
to flag and label
the delicate nerves
of reminiscence
and the friable folds
of understanding
we always stand here
put on spot
to answer, to name
what is laid before us
all its pieces and parts
and we always struggle
searching other eyes
to find a sense of comfort
that no one here
feels entirely sure
of how to go about it

Apologies,
Just words,
Words anyone could say.
Did you really mean it?
You say you did,
but why did you do it again?

Please don't say sorry,
While pretending to feel regret.
Thinking after just one word,
Everything will be fine,
That three simple words,
Will change how I see you now.

But I can't.

How are words supposed to erase
The pain, tears, and scars,
already made?

Forgive yourself
like the ocean forgives itself
for the wreckage it leaves
after a storm.

It crashes, it swallows,
it pulls away
and then it rests,
silent and still.

The tornado does not regret
its violence against the birds,
it only moves
until the wind calms.

Sometimes we destroy what we love,
tear apart the world
with words and silence
but we also heal with the same hands.

You are the storm
and you are the calm
you are the force
that pulls and the one that lets go.

Forgive yourself
for the hurt you’ve caused
and for the parts of you
that have been broken.

I walked from place to place
Never leaving behind a trace

There's so many people I've left behind
To carry on, no matter how kind

Some things were harder to let go of
Maybe because some just had a stronger love

I've seen the most beautiful places
Befriended the kindest faces

And I've learned so much about myself too
Me leaving is something we never knew

It's for the better, at least I hope
Maybe this is just how I cope?

I'm sorry, I must go
I just wanted to let you know

I'll travel to where my heart can't feel pain
I'll leave you just to make me feel sane

My heart has belonged to many places throughout time
But with no home that I could call mine

I'm a shaking, crying mess
As the thoughts burn in my skin

I was sick of hiding it all
Everything from two years ago

I trust you enough to tell
And you remained there

Even though the poison is slipping off my tongue
All I can feel is a sweet symphony

But it fades quickly as I expect
For you to laugh and walk away

But you hold me there, in your arms
Even if I'm a shaking, crying mess

Even though my heart had just been ripped apart
You recognized that it could still love

i lit a match
to light a candle
to seal a letter
but
the match could not even do me the courtesy of burning to my fingertips.

You’re that feeling that burns
every time you’re filled, not spent
we go back to learn
It wasn’t what I meant

The strong promises and lines
that couldn’t be broken, you bent
among all the go around rhymes
It wasn’t what I meant

The absent truths and stains
of every little word stolen, you lent
only to borrow pain and play
It wasn’t what I meant

and when you finally understood
phrases couldn’t be ripped, but rent
now there’s that silent separation
It wasn’t what I meant.