Apologies,
Just words,
Words anyone could say.
Did you really mean it?
You say you did,
but why did you do it again?

Please don't say sorry,
While pretending to feel regret.
Thinking after just one word,
Everything will be fine,
That three simple words,
Will change how I see you now.

But I can't.

How are words supposed to erase
The pain, tears, and scars,
already made?

Forgive yourself
like the ocean forgives itself
for the wreckage it leaves
after a storm.

It crashes, it swallows,
it pulls away
and then it rests,
silent and still.

The tornado does not regret
its violence against the birds,
it only moves
until the wind calms.

Sometimes we destroy what we love,
tear apart the world
with words and silence
but we also heal with the same hands.

You are the storm
and you are the calm
you are the force
that pulls and the one that lets go.

Forgive yourself
for the hurt you’ve caused
and for the parts of you
that have been broken.

I walked from place to place
Never leaving behind a trace

There's so many people I've left behind
To carry on, no matter how kind

Some things were harder to let go of
Maybe because some just had a stronger love

I've seen the most beautiful places
Befriended the kindest faces

And I've learned so much about myself too
Me leaving is something we never knew

It's for the better, at least I hope
Maybe this is just how I cope?

I'm sorry, I must go
I just wanted to let you know

I'll travel to where my heart can't feel pain
I'll leave you just to make me feel sane

My heart has belonged to many places throughout time
But with no home that I could call mine

I'm a shaking, crying mess
As the thoughts burn in my skin

I was sick of hiding it all
Everything from two years ago

I trust you enough to tell
And you remained there

Even though the poison is slipping off my tongue
All I can feel is a sweet symphony

But it fades quickly as I expect
For you to laugh and walk away

But you hold me there, in your arms
Even if I'm a shaking, crying mess

Even though my heart had just been ripped apart
You recognized that it could still love

i lit a match
to light a candle
to seal a letter
but
the match could not even do me the courtesy of burning to my fingertips.

You’re that feeling that burns
every time you’re filled, not spent
we go back to learn
It wasn’t what I meant

The strong promises and lines
that couldn’t be broken, you bent
among all the go around rhymes
It wasn’t what I meant

The absent truths and stains
of every little word stolen, you lent
only to borrow pain and play
It wasn’t what I meant

and when you finally understood
phrases couldn’t be ripped, but rent
now there’s that silent separation
It wasn’t what I meant.

All these weighted apologies spill
from my hands onto the wintered ground
There are moments in the day
when all the quiet burns
and the smoke inhabits these walls
but the possession of this rain
is never enough to wash out these lungs
or dilute this volatile pain
I was never good at speaking
always shied away from crowds
you were never one to stay quiet
always ran toward the loud
A cycle of oscillating seasons
I'm too in love with hating the cold
and far too familiar with the sound of rain but these birds, they're always calling
to new mornings and a sky of gold
and you sit here, waiting to hear your name as I clean up all the spills
from these weighted apologies
and pails of winter rain

i didn't intend
for it to seem pointed
that time the dog
accidentaly ******
on the
     church
              steps