Were you looking for someone to love?
Somewhere to sink your teeth?
Little strangles of baby's breath,
excited in the shadows.
An epiphany to undo?
Was I so easy?

Where I come from the dead watch over us;
we sing our names until they're one.
The women hunt with dogs and carry guns,
and the stars shimmer at night.
I forgot all this power inside me.

A shock of flatteries—
the peacock feathers of psychopaths.
Poisonous things are colorful,
flowers full of hooks, hot pearls around the neck;
love bombs of mass destruction.
We danced and danced around the shiny red button,
high on the dark, afraid to see the light.

Remember the pink rabbits,
throwing them at my feet,
their veiny little ears?
Killed what you could to frighten me!
And the honey *** of promises?
Using the bees against me.
My own ***, really?
You couldn't get the honey;
the honey was a lie.

Just because you want it doesn't make it so.
Did no one ever tell you no?
You think you hold the power
when you take the queen—
you wish... chess is a man's game.
Infinity can shift in a moment.
I have become bored of bee stings,
and violent kisses on the mouth.

Clarity is harder than denial.
I admit, it took me a while.
Fixation, denigration, isolation,
then utter destruction.
War is a breathtaking art.
I stand in awe of your strategy.
I gave you my sweet little head on a platter.
Perversions burned away the sugar and spice.

But I am not made of everything nice.
When I am myself,
I do not lie down with predators.
I'm made of mountain lions who turn and turn in circles,
churning to butter at my feet.
Where is the cream?
You're the spoiled milk, spoiled brain.
What made you so insane?

I fell for the uninvited vampire,
the blood-******* thief.
How dare you terrify me with your dogs?
I feed them honey—a gift from the bees.
Allegiances change, Shadow Man.
You can't come to my window anymore.
Now your dogs will **** for me.

Am I still pretty?

I call on my grandmothers, collecting the pooled power.
I am back, a dripping goddess with guard dogs,
not safe to touch or get too close.
A weapon of mass destruction,
I control my own atoms, a nuclear flinch.
Your cold war turns and turns, in circles at my feet.
I lick the butter from my fingers.
Do you still like me?
Am I still easy?

You are the epiphany.

My mother handed me power with a crown,
regal and beautiful.
She birthed me—
breech, rounded head.
I became unstuck and in the world all at once.

She slid me courage with my grandmother's pearl-handled revolver,
slapping me conscious,
a stark look at the world men built.
Deliberate moves, eye contact,
teeth bared.

Memories passed through a bleeding heart.
The women before us cut off their right ******* like Amazons—
gashes of emotion she couldn't stop.
I stopped.

I cannot be shook or unmade,
fired with clay and star metals.
Steady, steady stayed.
I bend with the wind.

The queens in my blood are at home in me.
I swoop down, landing with both feet.
There is fire in my ground.

Burn the dross with
steady heat.
Constant regulation
under furnace's feet.
Not too hot,
not too cold.
Steadily discover
the Goldilocks zone.

There's a blackening,
then the white-
before red comes
into play.
And there we find
the malleability
we seek for
every day.

May there be a secret portal ,
old heartbeat of the earth ,
Dreamt Cupid stolen in his
sleep ,
by Darkness unobserved .
☆
Coincidentia
oppositorum ,
Storm Angel and Wild Beast ,
Union of the Devouring Snake
and Lovers of the Chemical Feast .
☆
When time has come full circle
and the tempest calls to
fly ,
we will meet in golden sunset ,
where our hearts are three ,
six , nine .

Eternity shivered ,
trembling at heaven's
radiant golden portal .
☆
Countless crystalline
moments of time
dance , vibrate ecstatic .
☆
Physical objects ,
now less distinct ,
fade to grey simulation .
☆
Gloriously only a
shining path remains ,
Surrender, Devotion and
Pneuma .

At night we  love
the same cold stars ,
cross mind of God
His dream visage .
☆
Though yet to tread
the sacred path ,
the future waits
the hand of Mars .
☆
While every day
is a whole universe ,
Promise and the Owl ,
life , death and rebirth .
☆
The Emperor readies
his justice at hand ,
Reindeer and Lizard
and spirits command .

On Falcon's holy mountain ,
Thoth sunset burning compass .
The wind is full of secrets
and ancestors fly through the sky .
☆
Not the place for vagrant thought
or dangerous contemplation ,
the valley mists with
holograms ,
while archetypes with hieroglyph converse .
☆
Nothing is evermore or known
but a gentle shower of light
and the beauty of all numbers
as Time unveils the Night .

Forty-seven , silver moon eclipse ,
Fifty , tin , Jupiter announced
and seventy-nine golden dragons
of Beauty , Sound and Light .
☆
The Logos dreams , and at
the farthest reaches of the universe ,
faint echoes of the first thought
shimmer and dance across the galaxies .
☆
While in hallowed deep seclusion ,
the Magician divines his way ,
Valley of the Shadow of Self ,
transform base metal into
gold .

Wild is your matted hair ,
like red rose bush on
stark , desolate moor ,
you whisper my
name .
☆
Dreams become
ghosts ,
a stream of conscious
crystal ,
they relinquish secrets
and we are everywhere
as one .
☆
A thousand lives ,
radiant tapestry of
centuries,
perfect in Geometry
and where Aphrodite is
enthroned .
☆
The moor stretches to
Infinity ,
lone eagle glides high above .
We commune in silence
as love transmutes to light .

Confronting profound consternation
The positive faces negation
But for unions that matter
Illusions must shatter
To welcome the reintegration