you've left me uninspired now
but i don't hate you
not really
instead i hate you for the wrongest reason
i hate you because i keep looking for you
even bits of your beautiful monstrous self
in these wide corridors i walk in everyday,
through the noise in the canteen,
everywhere i go and
especially in all the people i meet

no, i'm alone.
no, i'm not dancing around because of that
i am however, trying to distract myself,
trying to rid me of sadness,
trying to drown out my parents' fight.

"at least let me know why you left," he begged.

but i couldn't possibly tell him i couldn't hear bells
and that
i heard it only with someone else..

Life is a war
Endless, fierce, and tiring.
And I do win a battle,
Or more
But every time life is firing
I'm down on my knees.
And my blood shall freeze
On the soft, fluffy snow
Pure, white, and baring
The rotten, black, and dying soul
With no light of hope, no glow
And not a faint spark of life,
Or trying
To stop the headfirst dive
Into the ripping and grinding ocean
Where the brain eating demons thrive.

I've been told,
I just have to survive
One more battle,
And then I can get out
And drive
Away from the cold metal
With its sharp edge
And dodge
The crushing and lethal
Blows thrown by life.

And I do, but it wont stop.
Life will again drag me from the top
To the deepest bottom.
It will chew away the hope.
And once you fall into that loop
You are not a man anymore, but a phantom.
You will try many things, the most random
***, drugs, a support group
But you are not one of them anymore, you are a loup
And you cant get back to normal
And the wolves wont accept you either
You are too weak, too slow, too dull.

The white room turns dark
When you step inside
Except the dancing,
Tender candle light.

The candles go off
As I take your hands
And the whole world is dark,
And the whole world is mine.

Yes! I melt faster than the candles.
Yes! My love burns much more bright.
I've already melt and disappeared,
And you still haven't even said hi.

I will take off your coat,
I will take of your shoes.
The wet smell of your socks
Will warm up my nose.

We will drink red wine,
I will caress your face.
I will comb your hair,
Your skin I'll taste.

I'll breathe in your breathe,
And I will get high.
But I wont look into your eyes.
No, I'm not shy...
If I do, I die.

No meal can compare
To the taste of your tongue.
You speak in beautiful words
I hear an angelic song.

I'll pull you into my bed,
I will hold you very tight.
And we will morph into one body,
The graceful body of God.

I will whisper into your ear,
And you will whisper into mine...
And I will touch you somewhere
Where love is more than a line.

I will bury my face
In your long, blue hair.
I will hold your breast,
And my lips will go near

My lips will go near,
But they will never touch.
And you too come here,
But you cant stay for much.

I will light up a joint,
We will smoke in silence
Even the smoke smells roses
When it comes through your lungs.

In a beautiful place
Out in the country
We are holding hands
Sleeping under a tree...