Dear Lover,
our love used to be a half full kind of love.
a love that always saw the light at the end of the tunnel
butterflies would take flight in my stomach at the sound of you voice.
your arms were my home, my sanctuary.
you were the light in my life, the sugar in my coffee.
you turned my blood red.
your fingerprints touched my heart and made me stronger.
I can never thank you enough for that.

if I could erase all the words I'm about to tell you from my heart,
and erase all my actions from my mind
it still wouldn't be able to stop my body from aching in my own guilt.
I met someone. His name is John.
he reminds me of watching Saturday morning cartoons in my favorite PJ's
his voice a song only an angel can copy

our love was once half full and now its half empty.
the butterflies sleep when I'm with you.
our love has died. our love is empty. I feel dead with you

The truth is John brings those butterflies back to life in the same way you once did.

I'm sorry....I'm so sorry

I'm in love with someone else

-Your lover

You fell in front of me
—Like a leaf from a tree—
And gave me love, unconditionally.
But now I only feel trapped
And I'm trying to break out
From within your chest.

Dear Nick,
I'm really quite sorry that I'm bad at this relationship thing
Please realize that I expected to never be loved and live with 75 cats
And I half expect you to start laughing and say "This was all a social experiment!"
But for you, I'm trying to be better at this relationship thing

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry it took me so long to call you back
You see, I have a crippling phone anxiety
and whenever I have to call someone I have a panic attack
But even if it takes pacing for 30 minutes, I'll always call you back

Dear Nick,
Sorry that I pulled back that day you tried to kiss me
And then made a dumb excuse how your breath smelled like popcorn
It didn't, and even if it did I wouldn't have minded
And now the only time your lips are on mine are in my dreams

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry I'm bad at expressing my feelings
And I can only tell you 'I love you' in cryptic rhymes in written word
And I'm writing you this poem you'll never see
But just know, you've been a huge inspiration to me

Dear Nick,
I'm sorry I say sorry for everything
I'm just so used to ******* up things
But I must be doing something right
Because you still loved me through anything
Maybe I'm not too bad at this relationship thing

I wanted you all the while
I was in love with someone else
But it was you who made me smile
And made my heart melt

But I didn’t want to be alone
And I knew our timing wasn’t right
So I settled for the thing I’d known
Ignoring thoughts of you that came at night

I shut off all those feelings
And told myself it was wrong
Ignoring that love should have no ceiling
And that I couldn’t live like that for long

And now I just want to tell you
How strongly that I feel
But I fear you won’t like the way I grew
And for real was not our deal

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day.
But try to hide it in every possible way.
Just a friend, and nothing else.
That's the lie you keep telling yourself.
You keep on saying just a buddy,
But deep inside you're falling in love.

But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that, just a friend?
Perhaps it's wrong.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being her girl is an impossible wish.