Numb is a funny feeling.
Contrary to popular belief
It is not the relief
Of feeling nothing,
Rather
You feel everything.

You lay down at night
And your ears ring
Because you feel hate,
Hope, love, growth,
Birth, death, hunger,
Warmth, cold
You connect with the trees
And listen as the moon
Tells you tales of old.
You feel the Earth spin on its axis
The universe expand
And your body simply does not know
How to process this
So you go on overload.

So you lie, lie, lie still
And the tears roll down your face
Of sadness, happiness or fear
You do not know
Except you are overwhelmed
And
You cannot place a name to what you feel
Not one
Name.
You can only call it
Numb.

Gentle words spoken
And laughter
Easy conversation
Speculation and sharing
Stories.
These are the days I've missed.

It feels like warm sunshine
After a perilous winter.
It feels like time goes by
Quicker
When I'm with you.

Everything is a little brighter
Life and my stress are a little lighter.
Yes these are the days I've missed.
All those nights with
You laughing at nothing
In particular.

You make things a little easier
For me to bear
When you're here with me
And I can't help but plead
To God
That this becomes
What I hope it will be.

For all I see
Right now is a hard road
And a heavy burden to be
Planted on my back.
But I think things would be easier
If you were by my side.
I think that's probably why
I hate when we say goodbye.
This can be something special
All we need is time.

Helplessly
Madly
Uncontrollably
Undeniably
Most definitely
Missing you.

It scares the hell out of me
That in a little more than
A year I will be an adult
And
I can't daydream
I have to make things
Happen
And
That life can turn out
The exact opposite of how
I may want it
And
That I'm not ready

At the brink of the Great Canyon of adolescence
About to be pushed off into
The Wild Wide World
And
*I'm scared as hell

I moved on the day
I realized
I could not share
The sparkle in your eyes
With another.

I moved on without a single sigh
Not one tear did I cry.
Though, I won't lie,
I was a little hurt.

I moved on when it hit me
Who I was.
I am amazing
I am blazing.
I am bright.
I am consuming.
Because there's too much of me
To love
Too much love
I will give
For me to settle for
Scraps of affection.

I moved on.
But you will come
To your senses
Sooner or later
And sooner or later
Is already too late.

What is bare skin
Compared to
The beauty of a bare soul?

it's bad
very bad
to want to be around someone
this bad
but i can't help it
is that bad?