Folder: The Art of Breaking

A glimpse,
A flash of love
A Moment played over
Frozen thoughts break
Gushing emotions wash bricks loose
faster than i can rebuild them
Thoughts given over
Surrender
Resolve
Recover
Rebuild
Life goes on again
As if no one ever knew...

Folder: God Consciousness
----------------------------------------

It seems Im lost again.

Im looking through eyes reflected in the mirror

no windows there.



I called and there was no answer.

I cut deals with cheques I couldnt possibly cash.

a desperate act.



the darkness seems to fill up my hollow like smoke.

the white mist of creativity turned haphasard dust floating in swirls of pretty nothingness.

its not evil or sad.



its hovering close by and I can feel it,

and I wonder what it is that i have done to make it flee me again

I know what it is.



hell, I dont even know why or whats going on.

I asked for a way to go there where it was.

is there no wrong healed by my right?



Sorry is a perfunctory word with a perfunctory action.

Its not enough.

it never was.

Memories strolling like winds
winding through the forrests of my mind

Past to present
and all manner of places
in between spaces

How near and yet so far
we've  come to be where we are


The whistle of a song captures my divided attentions
between rival affections

The birds sing sad love arias sound track to my phantasmagorias

Echoes of love's calling yonder

direction was never clear, should i stay a constant fear

The mind turns over
and the heart doubles back

Dropped my pennies in the wishing well,
I'll never kiss,
never tell

We fell like the crash of lumber

Across the span of time
ive held a feeling most sublime
It never ends, it never lasts,
how well you know me
Oh so well
And for us,
everything is
         all or nothing
  
      from
                the
                                moment
                                      we
          
                                                fell

I fell from the stars into your depths
so new and exciting
to the constant happy I was living in.
Swimming In your consciousness
Trying to figure you out
To pull you out of your slumber

Misery it seems glows like a flame
And here I am glowing with the same

And now I long for the stars from which I fell
If only I could take you with me to see...
But you won't look you won't see for me.

You clutch me tightly and push me down
so I won't fly away
But every day I dont.
every day I stay.
You think that you can hold me
but nothing outside of me can make me stay
I let you
Even though you feel this way.

We created something together
A choice of willing victims
Now it tethers us
to the end and beginning of time.
You were always too small in your mind
to see me truly,
and I didn't really mind,
Until I saw the truth I knew
That you were never really mine
And I never truly yours

We spend time hovering in eachother's atmosphere
Hoping to find some vibrational harmony
Though never really trying together for our own

I guess I loved you too much,
on too many levels
Too deeply, too high
That dissapointment was the spectre
hunting me in the darkness of the spiritual night.

What is there of redemption in my eyes,
if there is none reflected back?
The lonely are the brave,
The brave are the happy
Those in communion
must lose so much self to gain

But I am not of you
so I must refrain
To lose my self,
we lose the stars
and that possibility must remain.

I will not console you now
You must feel this pain
You must reconcile this shame
You must resolve this regret
So that we can be one again
You from the earth
Me from the stars
The ether in-between
Always will be ours
And in the resolution of every final hour
You know where to find me from way down there

If you dare x

Sliding  on red raw *** to ******* nothingville
No pain just that ****** up feeling of hopelessness permeating the air and my soul
No excuses,
though Im full of them
******* ten at the ready if anyone asks
Truth is, I don't ******* know
And I just don't ******* care.
*******,
Or I'll drag you the **** with me

The truth is out there...

No, its within.

Within 3 doors,

Truth is always obedient to its laws

A higher matter,

That's why it sets you free.

its a prisoner swap

but, there's a fee

That's why He died for you and me

And spoke of love and high places

So that we could all see

What was right in our faces

The lies and deceptions are out there

The edges of your cage

The matchsticks to your rage

Freeding your demons everyday

Within in you lies the freedom that you crave

If only you begin to see the truth inside

The big save

You are already free, save the spells cast

Of deception with which you agree

You won't cast them aside

Until you finally decide



Come find you,

come see

and maybe together

We can roam free.

...

Sweet verses
pour from my lucious mouth
plumped with the warmth
of sensuous  kisses

...

Soothed
by careful hands
crushed gently
into the breast of hope

...

surrounded
by the whisper of a beat
played by the arms of fate
invited by
a careless heart

...

I know pain is coming

...

I shut my eyes

tight.

-----------

listless fight

passionate waver

talk without reason

reasons without excuses

the magic is in the simple act of trying

the mystery is simply the moments before retiring

I am at peace for I am at home in these tensions.

Circles around circles

We never seem to touch in the right place
Where we'd meet at an intersection;
where thoughts can over lap and ideas spring to life!

And yet a life is what we've built

Circling like hawks picking eachothers bones
And anything else of use to feather our nest

Everything inevitably falls apart
Crashing down all around us

Except us

and we don't have much in common
Except our calamaties
And our never ending eddies

I guess we've managed to come full circle
More than few times
Dizzy as a spun dime

and yet here we are
at our throats as much as in our hearts
We seem to always over come

can't stay, can't go
say yes , say no
No doubt
I don't know

You figure it out.

A world of starss between them
their hearts reached out for eachother at the end of each passing revelation
revolving in the same matter
as if the distance could be mitigated somehow,
by touching the same space only worlds apart
he traced their names in the stars and she traced out thier hearts intertwined
alas, the end was ne’er in sight
the mysteries of why were too mystical to ponder
and creation filled the void with challenges, love and light.
thinking back to when they were new
they had shone brightly with innocence
the span of things was endless, but had allowed limited exploration
the One had called them unawares
and rushing back like obedient children
with great anticipation of what grand joy was at hand
immersed in the mysteries revealed
it was then they lost eachother
caught in different planes by a different set of stars
beyond the eye of the black hole created by the break in his heart
and the shattering of hers.
Searching in opposite polarities aeons apart the matter ever expanded
passing eachother withn a blink of an eye
but without words a universe was said;
Iris to Iris, soul to soul,
touching the same matter as eachother
only, aeons apart...

Joy blossoms where once hope daren't tread
what wonderful crossing overs of colours and light!
bursting with energy,
traveliing so light underfoot,
I can touch the stars at whim.
I never knew death could be so beautiful!

Stopped.
Time and heartbeats suspended
Eyes wide open
two way mirrors share soul secrets
Pain measured out equally
Agreements made
----
The test is written
The answers soldered into melting irises
Faith is the prescription
Love, the only cure.

A White paper flower for your paper crane
one drawn from the ground the other raised to the sky
Brighter than the snow
Liighter than the air
Hope floats
As hope grows
Message from beyond
The crane and the flower still exist
In memory and thought
But most of all,
eternally in spirit.
Pictures in the windows
A nod from the stars
Paper flowers smile up
At paper cranes

¤¤¤
Stars fall like angels
Unseeing Eyes drop crystaline tears
And they wonder of the cosmos,
What happed to hope?
It simply fell at their feet
And they walked all over it.
¤¤¤

she stood atop the high cliff
Scanning the oceans depths to the horizon
Soft amber glows lit her strong fine features
She had that far away look in her treacle eyes
he knew she was not present
she had gone to be with the spirit of her love
how his own spirit ached to chase after it,
to hold her steady so she would not lose sight of the shore
he almost drifted away with her
but sensed the need for her privacy
he did not want to find what she hoped she might find
he felt it would truly destroy him
he restrained himself from touching her
instead he looked out to he setting sun over her shoulder
letting the strands of lit golden hair flicker on to his cheek
as he blessed and thanked creation
for bestowing on him such simple glory
a wilderness of gratitude for each faint stroke
his whole being came alive
a grand mercy in a pinprick of revelation
divinely connected
as if her body knew that a love lost
was held steady across the arcs of time by another love
as she stood there motionless,
reverent Silence between them
the queen of his faith had restored in him,
what he had long hoped restore in her
He thought recklessly
‘We held time there,
locked in an expedition,
each of our own
words never spoke of any greater higher church,
than that of love
as our haloes mingled,
the sun left enraged with jealousy
slipping into the darkness
leaving the colours of our mismatched hearts to bleed’.

-------------------------------

I hope my soul has heard my call,

I miss it so much more than I took for granted.

if you are there, where can I reach you?

I have cut down every branch but yours

yet still you answer me not.

will I have to prove as I have in the past?

let me come home please

I beg you

to the last

tell me where I must come

so that I may reach you

and show you

you are welcome home?



I miss you most of all.