mama says i am unable to do anything right, after she says i can do whatever i put my mind to.

mama says i should do something useful for once, before saying i tried my best

mama says my best is not enough, and that i'm not trying hard enough

mama says she has not hit me and laughs when i flinch, before slapping my face and reddening my skin

mama says it isn't a threat, when she says she'll hurt me if i cry too much and not leave bed

mama says i love you more than anything else, before she tells me she hates what i do to her health

Memory cards stocked inside my brain
Which one will I pull out today?
I once put a blindfold on
And browsed through lucid memories
My interest was gone
Once I realized how much they can hurt me.

I dreamed you again
I just landed, I had wings
I asked you how you been
You just said nothing.
My dreams always give me some 6th sense
So I tried to change the verb tense  
How are you I asked ?
He looked so perplexed.
I realized the point that I missed.
So in that dream I went down on my knees
Pulled you down with me
And asked again what do you want to be?
But you started crying something I’ve  barely seen before
Collapsed on my dream’s cloudy floor
And showed me a star on your shoulder telling me it’s sore.
I touched it waiting for it to heal
And a thousand more started to appear
I asked him what have you done
He said it’s a dream every hope can be given or gone.

My insomniac friend
What kind of thoughts what kind of regrets
Won't let your day end?
My insomniac friend what kind of music could sooth your worries?
Could I be the one who owes you some sorries?
My insomniac friend why do you stress?
You said it's not the worst but the best.
My insomniac friend why do you keep hiding?
You've gotten so good at lying.
My insomniac friend who could you be?
I think I found you one night living inside me