It's the end of the week that catches me feeling the most numb.
Unable to sleep but barely walking.
Unable to eat but hungry.
Wanting love but distant
Eyes wide open but drugged like dreaming.
The only thing that I could grant
Is that I can't explain any of this feeling
It's a Saturday night that makes me the loneliest .
Laying in bed seems like the safest it could get
But staring at an empty wall just seems fake
But I stay with opinionated thoughts running through my head.
Thinking that staring at the night sky would be great
A Sunday evening is when reality catches up to me
But even if my responsibilities is all I see there's still more thoughts behind my mind's tree.
I've counted weeks and months and I've just been the same.
And honestly a change scares my heart
I'll rather be looking for my lost pieces than lose another part.

Villages and mist
All these forests and I drift
Away...far away I make my own fantasy
Wondering why the mist is so beautiful yet so lonely.
Levitating aimlessly above all these trees
I wonder what can the mist see?
Treetops and the grey clouds
Makes me feel free like nobody's around
This dark green and forgotten leafs
Makes me remember the worry-free moments once I was a kid.
And I look at the mist comparing  it to me
So beautiful yet only when it's lonely.

It's getting harder to say sorry
Sometimes I ain't even brave enough usually all the feeling i carry
Bring my confidence deep in this rust.
Sometimes my ego just turns into dust.
It's getting harder to say thank you
Because I don't know how to
I don't know who to say it to
Gratefulness escapes my mind i can't really express it
And because everyone thinks I am ungrateful it all goes to ****.
It's getting  harder to say hello
Or maybe the continuation's harder
People have transformed so
That I can't talk to them unless I stop dreaming about a forever.
And now since my heart's been infused with blue
It has been the hardest to say I love you.

I need to find better names for better thoughts
But I guess I am still lost
I have too much to say and too little to speak
Is there a cave I can hide in? I forgot how to breathe
I have the voice I sing my heart away with
But no one would listen or care the smallest bit
I have the hands that can draw good enough
But it’s never well for me, I tare the papers away crying in disgust
Fill me up would you
I need that extra spice that was taken away when I was about 2
I need love or something similar to it.
I’Ll take any drug...it’s just like pain
I am already addicted to it.

Bathtubs and bubbles
Hair strands, struggles.
My hands and soap
Life and and all the hope
Problems, stress
Forever distressed
Love, memories, hanging on my silver linings,
Pain, hurt mind and colored thoughts
Happiness is all I ought.
Persistence is all I got.

Splashes of color on my tinted skin
Bruises and marks is all that I see.
And somehow I find them pretty
The fact that pain comes in different shades of every color
But it’s not that fair for me?
I bare it all to see its beauty and I never recover.