Right now my world has stopped
Everything that kept me standing has somehow dropped
I gave my heart and now it's lost
I'm trying to understand
If you can't be with me at least pretend
I've lost control
Had my foot on the gas but fell asleep at the wheel
I've crashed
I'm not sure I can be saved
When you walked into my life I found my saving grace
Now I'm stuck surrounded by a dark haze
I won't be okay
In the beginning I was scared
And you reassured me
But now look who's running
I wish I could hate you
But when I close my eyes or look at the sky all I think about is how much I want to be next to you
Please figure out what you need
Please let that be me
I can't believe I'm still breathing
This life without you has no meaning
I'm not trying to make you feel bad
But let's face it I'm sad
I punched a wall so I don't cut
But who gives a ****, so what?
Please come back to me
I only have half of me
Like I said you have my heart
But you went and ripped it apart

Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled



Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same


Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory


Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if

Capture my ocean side.
Surf my skin like you'd trace
  your fingers on
  VCR tape.

Wrap your hands
  around my neck,
  until I fade to black--
looking into your eyes.

Capture my ocean side.
  It feels like a diamond
is sinking into my chest.

  I want to hit myself,
            repeatedly,
until I can't feel anything
but my blue skin smush
underneath my knuckles.
  My fingernails
      kissing my palms.

Capture my ocean side.
  I cannot face what I have
drawn onto my mirror.
What I found measurable,
  has lost scale, has lost
          purpose,
immensely, breathless.

Rewind the tape
  around my neck.
I'd rather not see through
  the film
    or you.

Capture my ocean side.

i like to think i'm okay
i'm not the only one that hurts
others have it way worse
it just wasn't meant to be
every thing happens for a reason
time heals all wounds

but

as i watch the sun set
and the sky become dark
the stars take me back to
each night i spent in your arms
my mind becomes flooded
with haunted memories of lovely days
and i forget to remember all those
logical things
because all i remember is you

No soft down of the goose
No suspirations of peace and condolence
No love for the broken

No volume of kind words will ever heal me,
no amount of rose-tinted promises will ever convince me that I'm not alone in this fight

No pillows for me when I fall from my great heights

Only the justification of my actions and the tissue to the tears I forgot to shed

Another day and its all the same
plastic faces floating the halls
this town is so boring
its choking me

Were all walking down a similar road
to a career in suicide
and alcoholic medications
praising something so much
that we die with it
for it
in spite of it
we die
early
whether is be a god
or a girl
we cannot differentiate
we walk in trembling strides
to that alter of
our obsession
and jot down
a couplet
or an epic
or maybe a novel of song
about hate
love
obsession
humanity
oh so many muses unexplored
and we slit our wrists
offering our blood
to a deity who
D O E S N ' T  G I V E  A  S H I T
and we think ourselves holy
that we sacrifice so much
but no
the people on the other
side of the fence
are just smart enough
to know better