don't know what to
write
don't know what to
say
whispered words slowly
spirited away
weapons between teeth
saliva soaked blade
slicing tomorrow, tonight and today
wish me luck
the climb may take a while
the mountain you know
you've been there, child
come when there's snow
i'll offer you a cup
wander through the
shadows
my mind turned to dust
mourning sets in
down the mountain you'll go
a jar i'll hand you
fill it with what you need to sow

pearls lining my breast
my clavicle tight
and the veins, pulsating underneath warm skin

teeth like razors descend
but the bite becomes more
as one by one the gemstones break free
teasing at each taught ******

slowly and with the hunger of the sea
they graze my naval before finally settling
against a silken shoreline of ecstasy

the grass is greening
and voices begin to rise
i wander further
the distance between the tall oaks
and my bare feet
merely a few steps

the front door
not always left ajar
often thrown off its hinges
anger an anvil of weight
a battering ram

tightened
the moon rises and night falls
withering cries
cardinals fly west
and venus readies herself
for a second showing

an exchange
invaluable its rate
but just the same
someone's coming
or going

in this room
noise level
rising
and my pen erupts
the hard truth
it's time to change, again
this frightens me
and i feel lost
transition tightens at my throat
and i start to gasp
i want more of that
terrifying realization
weak and simple
this me, the one that evolved from sand
quickly turned to glass
never setting entirely
permeable and translucent
yet sharp and cutting
she's scratching again
the bars have tightened
the dull and tranquil
merely stagnation
dressed up
bows and pleated skirts in place

she listens
watching
assumption on their faces
but a fool she's not
her mind
thunderstorms in the summer
pounding hear
the intensity too much
tears well
and the music
vibrates
ears
her most potent line of defense
drowning out the past
mistakes in judgment
a rear view mirror
caked in the blood of battle
that no man dare accept
hands and nails blackened by the soil
and raw
heart like a brillo pad
frightened by the wash of emotion
never the right time to cry
holding onto the moments
praying for the solitude
found only among the trees
places where she's fallen on
knees softened by the earth's surface
birds fleeing from the highest perches
screams as shrill as crumbling foundations
and crashing mountains
a begging dirge
body a useless paradigm
before and after
black and white
alluring and repulsive
desired and rebuked
given and taken
from there
the lowest ground
the crows cast off
ascending the heavens
garnering the cries of the innocent
sullen air filled with a sallow tint of pain

i laugh
not being able to write
you the distraction?
not one bit, it seems.
words, not the issue
there are plenty.
all day i'd cover the page
telling the world about my insides
and how you have scrambled them.
i'd start with how it's fear
how silly poetry could barely touch
not a stab
my fingers nothing short of shocked
touching myself it's as if there's current
your thought brings me to life
but how, how can i tell that
how do i dare cross that line
my heart such a deep and cavernous space
how dare i dig in, mark space upon that muscle
my mind alive, every day, thinking
but you know...somehow
because if i dared, if i felt fearless
i'd say so much more
i'd not hide behind metaphor
silly games, i've never been a fan
time changed all that
so don't scoff, i'm not blocked
it's not the time being consumed
i'm writing plenty, hidden pages
smiling as i dream of the rough touch
behind those eyes
their consuming power unyielding
infinite

the way it falls
collar bones cold
chills tearing at my spine
human necessity, memory
of touch long erased.

my mouth a portal,
sound only. lips,
retired rose petals
moments contracting
upon themselves

pointless gateway
rusted chains marking
an empty garden
ground turned and cursed
age rushing and darkening the permanence of regret.

hollow echos limbering up posts
legs shortened by time
expectation of movement between
shortsighted and extinct
wanderlust long extinguished

boggy eyes with water rims
too shallow to swim
far too empty to drown
salty bottomed and
largely misunderstood

curved ground between
here and there, and the earth
contracts. mind's eye drawing closed
and the rivulets pour, the faucet closed
only a dripping remains.