Some people die in Texas.
Some people die in Spain.
Some people die in their sleep.
Some people die in pain.

We were all in love with trauma.
We were all in love with the same
ideas we projected onto people
and disguised with their name.

I don't live in nine-eleven-land
and neither do my peers.
I've been monitored by other people's Gods
for twenty-two ******* years.
Coffee pots and cigarettes
stimulate my day
and keep the thoughts streaming,
that eventually fade away.

Some people die in Utah.
Some people die in Prague.
Some people never get married
or have the family dog.

We were all in love with status.
We were all in love with goals
that would make life poignant
and make ourselves whole.

I don't subscribe to the thought
that my thoughts necessarily matter.
If life is a horror movie,
then I'm the fake blood splatter.
Bible thumps and dead eyes,
are all part of my design,
and how I live and where I die
means to separate my mind.

There is little here
in this sun-scaped city
to press a frown onto my face.
I feel free
I've lost ten pounds
my skin is smooth
I bought new fashionable clothes
and I laugh more than ever before,
and that is what people see,
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all these new people
who laugh at my funny name
only see this happy smiling girl
who is kind and quick to help
and make jokes
and dance
and offer advice
and yet despite the freedom I feel
it comes with equal parts guilt.
have I ever smiled so much before?
The me people meet now is so new to me
it feels like a lie
it's nice of you to ask me on a date
but how could I tell you the horrors of my past?
with all this smiling
you'd never believe the years of frowns and tears
no one would think to look for the lines where you can see my burn scars
they wouldn't look at my differently
when I trace old bruises
they don't think
to be careful when touching me
they don't have a clue
and it's all I've ever wanted
to have people think nothing is wrong
for me to be like the other girls,
but now that that's what people see,
my smiles though real
make me feel like I'm lying to everyone around me.

He came to me
A shining man
Metallic swords
And endless chance

Paddling white horse
A silhouette in the beating sun
Golden rays brushing his shining sleeves
A dream unable to he undone

He offered his hand,
And off we danced
Twirling in the setting sunlight
Dipping and leading into the nights ascent

Under the sweet navy sky
Freckled with quivering white stars
In between the dark shadow trees
I fell in love, so hard and so high

Follows a morning sun
A valley of color and life
Noise, and time and sense resume
The perfect lovers day

But looking over
On the sweet sweet grass
He is not lying at the end of my love
He is walking to his mule

Wearing tattered clothing
His sword a gnarled rotting stick
Anything but shine
Anything but charm

"You are not my Prince"
I say to him
"I never said I was"

The regret of the mourners,
Eons of gratitude not-shown to the living.  
The false happiness of the greedy,
The unknown joy of contentment.

You were alone,
But not lonely.
Another was lonely and alone.
You both craved for more.


Now I hear the hurt in your laughter;
Now I see the pain in your smile.
Now I see the courage that you fly;
And I hope that one day you will be alright.

To the one I love
Whom I've never met
Who one day
Will never leave my side
To the one I will cherish
With every laugh
Every smile
Every heartbeat.
I will wait for you
As the days go by
No matter how long it takes.
I will not rush
I'll take my time
And live my life
By my design.
I'll search for you
But will not toil
There's much to be done
Before that day
I will not fear
For you will come
No matter how long it takes.
Until that day
I'll wait for you
For we have nothing but time
We have nothing but time.