I was in love
with Denise,
(She sat behind me in the third grade and
moved away in the first few weeks of the fourth),
but it was Tasha,
(who sat next to me and was the
best friend of Denise),
that I would fantasize about.
I would wait in some bush
for her to pass by and then
leap out
wearing a black ski mask and
armed with a rag drenched in chloroform.

The part of the fantasy that would
constantly change was
the way I would drag her back to my trailer.
Sometimes
I would have a Tasha-size duffle bag and
other times
I just dragged her by her feet
or grabbed her by her arm pits.
I often thought it would be smart
to bring my little red wagon.
except that I didn’t have one

In my fantasy it was always late morning
because that’s when my mom wasn’t home.

Once I had Tasha naked in my room
I would tie her hands with a rope secured
to the ceiling
I would pinch and poke and rub Tasha’s body
everywhere.
And stare
She would be blindfolded but
I would leave my ski-mask on
just to be safe,
in case Tasha’s blindfold fell off,
you know?

it’s hard to find chloroform when you’re
only eight.  

Anyway,
she would squirm and writhe and
wiggle
but soon she would change a little
and she would start to moan
she would gasp
and eventually
she would beg for more.

And then more Chloroform
I would drag her back
so that when she woke up
she would maybe think it was
just some fantasy SHE had.

But Denise,
when I dreamed of her
we just rode bikes and stuff.

I was in love with her.

Hey, kid I really like your work.  You could win a hundred bucks.

Oh, Andrea Button!  How sweet of you to notice.  
What do I do what do I do
what do I have to do.

Create an account, handsome.  Accept the terms, ****.  Post your best work, lover.  

So you’ll give me one hundred dollars for my soul, Miss Button?

"And you license to Tallmadge all patent, trademarks, trade secrets, copyrights and proprietary rights in and to such Content for publication on the Service pursuant to these Terms of Service."

I said a chance to win, sucker.

Oh Andrea!  You devil.
I am a sucker...,
for fine print.

She moves on me
slowly,
I catch drops of her sunlight.

She,
brightens the nights of mine,
time after time and
says,
'what is mine is all your's'.

She,
adores breakfast in bed,she
lightens my head.
I am led into the whirl
she's the girl that
moves on me
slowly.

Each day breaks anew when
she wakes and says,
'good morning you'
and
runs her hands
through my hair.
I love her being her with
that smile that says,
dare me,
She
moves on me
slowly.

I have a garden of roses
One for every person I love
Year after year
More and more begin to die
The petals begin to wilt
And float to the ground
To this day
Only a few remain
I fear that they too
Will die someday

I knew every thread of you but you only guessed my stitches
Leaving bruises on my throat and my stomach and my hips in the pitch black where you couldn't see, my face was blank to your fingertips that ran down my back along the sore scratches you'd given me before and I was just trembling because I was cold
And in that night I became everything a woman feared, overwhelmed by some idea of lust to the ecstasy you threatened to give me
You shoved me deeper into the mattress stained with ash and her handwriting she left in permanent ink, but I didn't mind  
You'd remember my smell forever and shiver when you think of it
I felt nothing but bare skin though you were connected to the warmth of me, and when we were done your knees shook while I stood firm and quiet
I left your garage with a kiss on my forehead and some "promised" love I forgot about, smiling because you were unaware that I wasn't coming back
Walking home with a cigarette like any, high off of your cravings like under the sink drugs
Now you give the gift I gave to you to another girl,
how rotten and foul she'll feel after she adores the way you touched her like I did you
Though you admit that wasn't all you wanted, but I'm not haunted

I don’t always know what you think of our love
Or if I’ll ever learn
But I picture a two wick candle
set out to burn

I don’t know the depth of the wax

Or who’s wick will be the longest to last

All I see is the flame
So untamed
The light of the two wicks look one in the very same

The scent of everything
Happy and sad
Thoughts said and unsaid

I would turn my back to the sun
Watch our candle for eternity as my new one

I don’t know about you
But as long as I see our
Wicks in your eyes
It will always be you
I come to