I am talking
At walls and mirrors

I have deleted
Your number

I am trying
To forget his name

I have been shutting
Everyone's existence out



This is how I need to be
This is what I need to do
I need to focus on what I have now

But
Work still does not get done
And I still cannot focus.






.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to wake
Up and smile,
To love yourself,
To look in the mirror
And not want to slap
On pounds of make-up
To look as decent as the other
Girls.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to
weigh yourself,
See the number,
and not want to puke.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to
Have friends and not
Feel like a third wheel.

Or go into public and not
Feel insecure,
To go shopping for clothes
And not feel fat.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like
To love your life.

And I had to walk away
I was just hoping at least he noticed I didn't run

I see myself differently, because,
when I look at myself - I see my scars,
my stories, my flaws and secrets.
you see the very least.