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knowing you, and loving you
means that;
every sun that rises
and moon that beams
brings me purposeful days
and beautiful dreams
you have stones and rocks to play with
clothes hanging from a tree
a *** of rice to portion
and you barely think of me

i have popcorn in my pantry
coffee ready to brew
clothes with all their tags on
and yet i'm envious of you
or, alternatively
i can 180 it
and try it with you
there's a hidden, empty place
between the conscious and unconscious mind,
it's a wallowing feeling -
a standstill, a little uphill
looking down on yourself
realizing the battle is nearly over,
ready for change
and you say
take me to be whole, entirely me
enlighten me
The critter in my soul
Captor of my mind
Ocean in my world
Clock that ticks my time
I am alive
Today, and in this very moment,
I’m breathing the same pattern I once did,
Before I met you.
Yet I am different
In this very same moment I feel lost
I can see the world, but,
I stand still in the corner.
I am lonely
So I reach for you as a friend,
I ask you to wake me up, inhale you,
And instead you lay me down
You are alive now
You are wide awake
You are brave, and bold, and intimidating
I once was brave, and bold,
And kind
You and I
We are similar, yet
Cannot exist together

With one eye open,
I see the world again,
Except this time
I am not lonely,
I am just alone
Without you
And I’m alive
Feeding the little thoughts
The doubts
The dreams I'm lucid in
But for a second they wrap around me
They grasp me with their warm hands
Tell me there's more
More to this
Something magical could happen
If you just wake up and run

And I believe it
In moments of anger
On days I'm misunderstood
I believe it
When I feel stuck

Feeding the little thoughts
Giving them characters and stories
Taking away from my own reality
To fuel this dream

And I'm sinking
Sinking ship
I feed these thoughts
And you reach out
And you save me
Every time
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