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chainedwhore Dec 2014
My best buddy for my whole life lives far away...
But, if I need her...she's there for me anytime night or day....

Today I went on facebook ad saw her post....
It read "today my daddy past away".

My heart sank...and I messaged her right away.
I said "Bon Bon I am so very sorry and I love you"

I left another message shortly after the first one...
adding that I am here for her and if she needs to talk or text any time day or night just give me a call....with her its always alright.!!

After that I sat down and thought back to when we were in grade school. Bon Bon and I were together all of the time, laughing and playing and going to the 'valley" or as we called it 'down below".
We did so much with her parents that my parents did ever know.!!

Her parents were always so much more fun..
They took us to Fredricks of Hollywood in Hollywood in the summer of 8th grade.
Never did tell my parents we went there.....to look at **** suade underwear!!

We did get into trouble if we did something bad...like when we got all drunk one summer day and they found us past out.....
Ya then they got real mad.
Took us to eat to sober up and then I went home......which made me sad!!

One summer I ran away.....stayed at her house...for like 2 months..
They treated me as if I was their own kid.....
Like theyde get mad at me for all of the stupid **** I did.


Mike Vallee....
Im glad you were my best friends dad.....
*** for me you were the dad that I never had!!
Miss and love you for ever!!!!

xo
My best buds dad died today and i dont know the reasons behind it like if he was sick or anything but my heart and prayers are with her....
He was funny and always made us laugh....he will be missed.!!
chainedwhore Dec 2014
I want to hug you and gives u kisses
But the empty hole inside isn't gonna be filled with love ...it only gets stitches!!

I do miss you but u didn't care
Guess I was just another number ....just a nameless body for u to do what u want with,
Whatever u  dare!

I really thought we bonded in some ways...
Guess I am wrong since u don't talk to me at all these days !!

U will always be one my heart will forever want!!!!
Just ***** *** ur ghostly memory will forever  taunt!!
Just sad *** I meant zilch to u and u meant a lot to me!!!
  Dec 2014 chainedwhore
Archita
I put my love in the letters I sent you.
The words, they are not shallow.
But, just don't look too deep into them
For you might drown.

Don’t try to read between the lines
For you may get trapped
Stuck between the metaphors
Dancing in those threads

Look at them  
But look passionately
With those big, starry eyes
Look at them
And know, they are the windows to my heart.

Look at them
And reach for the stars.
The sky lit up
I’ll be smiling and all.
Lonely the night will get,
The letters will be on guard.

Keep those letters forever,
And know, they are the windows to my heart.
chainedwhore Dec 2014
I wish when we met that that person you pretended to be was really you..

that guy was the best.
He was so sweet full of compassion.
Very smart. Always corrected me if i said the wrong or spelled it wrong.
Always told me to take care and be safe at the end of the conversation.
He wasnt vendictive or would he be so childish as to "get you back" for something that he was wrong for in the first place.
He was a bit moody a few times but all in all he was dreamy.
He had a way that hed talk and it made me melt and id do anything he would ever ask.
I was so smitten with him.


I wanted him so bad and would have loved him forever!!!

But he is NOT REAL!!!!

He is YOU!!!!!
Found a box full of stuff i want to save forever and inside it was the entire 2 mos of conversations we had... its tons and tons of papers....we talked alot back then!!!  I miss that!! I MISS HIM!!
  Dec 2014 chainedwhore
Crushing Love
you had a lot of fun
When you were together
you'll never forget
you'll always remember

The laughs that you shared
The dreams that you had
But those dreams changed
And they left you sad

you know he's moved on
And found someone new
But you have to admit
he probably still wishes for you

This isn't healthy for you
you really need to stop
When you think about your past
your heart wants to pop

So as  say your last goodbye
I want you to know
That  you must
learn to just let go
chainedwhore Dec 2014
im sick of being alone......
no one to love me and no1 there when i get home....

i need to lose weight since everyone is superficial.....
its better anyways so im healthy and not bloated and look like a jiant pickle.

I just need to not eat after work.....
its just hard when i work from 4 to close and get my food discounted which i guess is a perk....

But i need to do this to help me so i can find some guy who wont love me for me.......
unconditionally is how i want my love to be.....
its pathetic how guys go by looks and thats all.......but w e
chainedwhore Dec 2014
The time has come to say goodbye....
Ive decided to give my life a try....
Up until now all Ive done is get high.....
I dont want to live this way and i dont want to die....

I need to go find a church...
Stay off of twitter and not be a lurch.....
It gets me stuck as I continue to search....
sitting like a bird out on its purch....

I need to get sober and get it together.....
Now is the best time......
So I can have whats left of a life.

I guess better late then never...
im just so sick of living this way its getting to me
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