i miss you
but i also miss who you used to be
when you cared
and weren't headed down such a dark road

when i look in your eyes
i can still see him
but you're killing him
and i'm not sure if you realise

i will never be with you
when you're like this
because i care to much
to just stand by
and watch your death

s.s

i can still smell you on my clothes
and see you burnt into my eyelids
and you still trace my dreams
so to avoid you i don't sleep

my hands are shaking
because i can almost feel you holding them
and my skin itches
where they used to be

i can taste you in the smoke
i’m breathing in to forget you
and i'm not sure if i'm choking
on the fumes or your name

but no matter what
the thought of you makes me dizzy
because ******* memories
flood my head
with tears drowning
everything i could cling to

s.s

i am both the protagonist and antagonist
of my own story

every night i battle myself
weapon in hand
both defending and attacking
and the blood i shed
is traced with hypocrisy

i always tell myself i am better
than the devil i've created
yet occasionally i seem to overpower
my own good

so today
i went to war
to duel and defend
but i'm afraid tonight’s tale
did not have a happy end

s.s

one night
my words
brought you to me
so i will spit stanzas
under the stars
hoping
to draw you in
once again

s.s

lay me on your tongue like acid tabs
light me like a **** or dab
breathe me in like *** smoke
snort me up like lines of coke
taste me like a ******
shoot me up like ******
sip me like spiked tea
trip on me like lsd
use me
continuously  
like your drug of choice
and i will make you feel
otherworldly

s.s

you can never get it back

whether it be when you're stumbling home after a night at the bar
and a masked figure pulls you in
taking advantage of your intoxication

or it be when you're young
so young you barely remember anything
but you remember the way
that family friend slipped their hands on you
with you being unaware of what was happening

whether it be when you surrender your trust to your lover
but they push it too far
ignoring your cries to stop
and just using you for their pleasure

or it be in any situation
anywhere
and someone invades you
in a way that will leaves marks on your body for days
but scars on your mind for eternity

no matter what it be
when you have your innocence stolen
you can never get it back

s.s

we are not living
we are surviving
everyday

facing new problems
and overcoming obstacles
or hitting all time lows
and crumbling to rock bottom

we are all
just surviving
for just as long
as we can

s.s