I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.

he keeps asking
why
I don't write
about him

my dear,
my sweet darling,
it is because
you
do not cause heartache
and pain
like the others did

I do not know
how
to write
when I am in love

he pins you to the earth and
you can feel a lightness pulse
through his veins like ichor,
the way it was intended to flow
before your ruination.

for the first time, you feel small
beneath his gaze.

you whimper,
"what do you plan to do to me?"




he whispers,
"forgive."

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

Suddenly, the night was too dark,
the mind too twisted,
the city too dangerous,
the heart too damaged,
the sight too blurry
and life devastating.