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I want to blame the cops for the crimes they committed against my kind
But at the same time...
I can't ignore the crimes my kind has committed against it's own kind
We go around popping caps in our brother's and sister's head
Just to get the dollar they got stuffed in their pockets
So can you really blame the cops for being afraid of us
If we do that to our own kin...
God only knows what we'll do to them if we get the chance
So truth be told if we want change
We have to change as a people
And stop blaming them for the things we caused
Black lives matter
But thing is...
We have to believe that ourselvesl
Stop living your life like you're in some kind of a movie.  
Stop trying to cast your true love instead of just meeting them.
Love isn't always a lightning bolt, maybe sometimes it's just a choice.
Maybe true love is a decision.
A decision to take a chance with somebody.  
To give to somebody without worrying whether they'll give anything back or if they're going to hurt you or if they really are the one.
Maybe love isn't something that happens to you, maybe it's something you have to choose.


**True love is a process, not an event.
This is a paraphrased monologue by Britney Murpheys character "Jacks" in the movie Love and Other Disasters.  I'm trying to give credit where is due, it's not quoted because it's not all exactly as it was said but for the most part its lines from the movie. Hope you like it, I thought it was quite inspiring.
I am not pretty perfect porcelain
I am a beautiful piece of coal
I don't care how you see me on the outside
Because I know that on the inside
I'm beautiful enough
if not more
I was the queen in quest of your dreaming teens  
You were in race to trace my grace of beaming beauty
Your shower of love was to catch my fragrant flower
Life was like amusing laser show for a major glow

A fresh breeze of life I felt in your lifelong lease of love
Your fast love at first sight was forthright, I saw it so
Your love was on a broadband channel, I surmised,
On high frequency at matching wave length you promised

Love was in fairy air you craved, cared n’ carried thru’
I molded to your mauls, for I rejoiced your choice  
I was mild and yielding as you stepped up wielding
Rendered and surrendered to your shabby game of love
You left the fruit of your lust in my lap in a decade’s gap.

Embroiled in undue deal, you now embraced
Unhealthy wealth than wealthy health
Lavish lust, peevish love and selfish life
Lo, love is to collate not to collide n’ collapse
I feel sad when our lad says my dad is bad

My love was one popped up from heart
Your love pepped up from crazy corner
The kid is keen to pick up your kiss
Welcome to hold me to your fold, don’t miss

All I need is your towering love
Not your quivering ivory tower.
All I wish you is not to rewind
Your tampered tape on kin akin
I see your hand waver, now you're faced with a ghost,
not the raw, killer features that were nailed to a post.
Just an old, dying cowboy, trying hard to play host.
There's a chair if you've mercy, and a story...come close.

The liquor of youth lights a fire in you, son.
Puts that flame in your eyes and the heat in your lungs.
I wore that expression, before your thread was spun,  
so let me unload, you can shoot when I'm done.

Growing sore in my saddle as the nag became lame,  
I sold off my shooters, then re-mortgaged my name.
But tease out the creases, we're exactly the same;
two felons of fortune, wanting someone to blame.

See, I never got settled, didn't take me a wife.
Sailed a ship in a bottle, on the edge of a knife.
I put stock in misfortune and invested in strife,
took diminished returns, paid no interest to life.

But corralling cattle won't hold them for long,
they're born to roam free where they know they belong.
Soon the lipstick and whiskey begins to taste wrong,
as the backroom piano sighs its monotone song.

By a tangerine sunset I scraped off my boots
and considered an orchard as it set down its roots.
As a buzzing of insects idly nurtured its fruits,
I was deafened by silence. My own garden was mute.

So I clutched at the earth as I fell to the floor,
to ask for forgiveness, as you darkened my door.  
Seems redemption's eloped, like a gold digging *****.  
Just a name on a tombstone, for a few dollars more.

Quite an end would be fitting for a fool so innate,  
who has squandered his years until the hour is late.
Son, unholster your weapon and wipe off the slate,
I beg execution, swift vengeance,  But wait...

Did I catch my reflection as it fell from your face?
Like a hound in a heatwave, too tired to give chase?  
Son, the trail that you're riding is easy replaced.
You can stand in the sunlight, or come sit in my place.
It's been 121.747 days
i still feel an ache in my chest
when i see your name
when i see your face.

It's been 121.747 days
since i've heard your voice
since you've called my name.

It's been 121.747 days
since i said the words "let's break up"
in a spur of rage and hate.

It has been 121.747 days of regret

and counting.
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