Dear heart
Of him you are
But in you I see
How you have many scars
Of times when you were opened to wide
Opened to fast
Opened with an invisible knife
Which was then ripped out
To leave a mark forever.
So many scars and stitches
And bandaids and bruises
And so many broken pieces put back in.

And I am so sorry.

Dear heart
You beat in the both of us
For the first time there is this new feeling
Something so foreign and different.
We don't understand
And we don't know how.
We open up to early like normal
But this time it seems different.
That's what they say everytime
But this time its the truth.
Something is so different.
I am careful of his wounds
I clean his scars
I take out his stitches.
I put on every single bandaid
And am careful not to rip them off.
I forgot hearts could handle so much.

And I am so sorry.

My dear heart.
I took so much time caring for his heart
That I forgot that you need to be cared for
And that you too have unhealed scars
And you too have bruises.
I took so much time healing his heart
And forgot to heal you
That when his heart was beating normal
It beat so loud to try and find its echo
In the chambers of another heart
But you my dear heart forgot to beat loud enough
And so he didn't hear you
And went to another beat.
And you were left with another wound
And no one to sew it up.

And I am so sorry.

I get lost a lot.
The first time was when he
Said to me no one loves me
And then there I heard this
Crazy, new idea this
Foreign to me concept of
Get lost.

And so I decided to hide
In background vocals
And side hallways
In taking the long way around
Just to avoid the awkward stares
In deciding that getting lost
Meant gaining this super power
Of complete invisibility

And then I was introduced to words
And in words I found
You can get lost but not disappear
In words you can lose all you have
And gain something so much more
And I started to get lost in the words
In all the late night adventures
In far off places
And forbidden love stories
Which prepared me to then
Get lost.

Get lost in your eyes
Lost in your smile
Lost in the beautiful,
Wonder of someone like you
Lost in the things you say only to me
Lost in the way you sneak sideways glances
Lost in the way you meet my eyes across the room
So lost in all of this perfect story
That I was so lost when you finally said to me
No one loves you.
And I was lost
In a place I had already been.
In a familiar state I felt lost.
My heart hit the ground
Seeping through the cracks
And no one was there to help me pick it up

And I got lost.
So lost I was deciding how to get lost,
No get gone.
How could I, in a matter of seconds, disappear.
Words had stopped working and,
As I had been told before no one loves me
So I can get lost
And no one would have to pretend to notice.

I had driven and got lost,
On the side of some bridge
So far away I couldn't remember the last time I stopped to ***.
But it didn't matter because I would no longer be
And then out of nowhere
And I mean literally nowhere

He was there.
The one who started all this roller coaster of disappearing.
He was there.
The one who wrote the words in which I had disappeared.
He was there.
The one with whom I ran away to disappear.
He was there.
In all of these moments, in all of these tears.
He was there.
He had no capacity nor reason to disappear
Because I need Him.
He is love, and He is delight and He is wonder.
He is here.

And there is no greater person I would rather love
Than the one walks with my long lost soul.
Guiding me back to the place
Where no one can get lost.

I am not afraid of love.
I am afraid of being hurt beyond repair.

I am afraid of giving my all to one,
Who may not always be there.

I am afraid of losing myself
And never finding my way back.

I am afraid of falling in love--
If you aren't falling back.

Oh sweet, sweet thing
How are you so perfect?
But oh my dear
How are you so blind?
Don't you see all the hearts
Resting in the palms of your hands

Oh sweet, sweet thing
How do you not know?
And oh my dear
How can you be so oblivious?
To the simple facts around you
That I am slowly falling for you.

Oh sweet, dumb thing
Why don't you get it?
I know all of your secrets
I see all of the hearts
I know where you have confessed
Your love to lie in the hands of another

Oh dumb, stupid thing
Why have you not changed?
You do no good with my heart
You hold it so carefully
But only in one hand
And although it feels comfortable
It's odd to know that a wing span away
Sits another heart in another hand
And someone with another hope

My dear, sweet thing
Can't you see?
You have chosen to pick the
The wildflower in all her
Undone glory
To care for but you have
Forgotten your vase is full of roses

And flowers die without a place to be held.