inch closer to the ebb
of my voice. fear your
-self in my image. see
the understanding wreath
itself in transitory honors
and awards, church bells
sounding for the no-bell
prize.

Don't worry darling,
When I push you away,
I promise,
You won't feel a thing.

I'll be the one,
To burn in the fire,
The smoke,
Causing my eyes to sting.

I know it's for the better,
I'm a burden,
Don't you see?

I promise I won't blame you,

Who would want to be around me?

As much as I look around
This great wide world
I see you in every place that I go

In a boat at Maine
In a train in Boston
In a Jeep in New Mexico

But why do I search?
And think?
And search?
When I know no hope remains

It's because I had hope
Then lost hope
Then had hope, but lost
And all hope, to me, feels the same

You can replace me,
I'm expendable, I'm replaceable
I was a moment, you were a scene
In a movie that we developed
Of an unexpecting dream.

The one that came with the kiss on the forehead goodnight
The one that came with the ability to calmly sleep at night
I remember...(laughing) I remember these moments
& at times I know you do too.. I know you still feel my hands in yours...I know...nothing. I can't think this through...
I know when I breath this cold air, my lungs start to freeze, but how can you convince a scared mind to tell the heart to truly see what it wants to see? Me. I know when I look up at the stars, my heart starts to beat..I knew when I heard the door open...that was you ready to leave.
I have to stop! I have to take my palms and close them into non aggressive fist, I have to stop holdin on to hope and let go of this. You told me my words were magic..Yet, I can't form a sentence to convince you of our old bliss..

(Closed eyes flashback)
"please! don't! Don't give me one last kiss."* *Sadly I remember this.

The horror of the knife digging deep inside me, the scar I forever walk with.
I can't live like this! and continue to survive on your leftover venom, your seduction through your captivating eyes, your temptation from the shape of your denim.

**Soaked spots on the page,I know my days may get better..I just hope one day this gets to your heart, my eventually heals, I just hope you get this letter.

She will lose herself in a book
and find herself in poetry

She thinks that religion is a sacrilege
and that long showers are sacred

She makes love when she's tired
and never tires of making love

She is irreverent in her humor
and pious in her gravity

She is diligent in completing her work
and ambitious of her quest for leisure

She is the personification of romanticism
and the embodiment of compassion

She exists harmoniously in my mind

Footprints

I saw footprints in the snow
I had to follow where they go
Tip toe'd in every step
To keep my feet from getting wet

Over Hilltops, through valleys
And forests of pine
I traveled and traveled
Snow blind to time

When the footsteps ended
It was once again spring
I traveled the world
and hadn't seen a thing

Stranded by the shores
of vast oceans blue
With very little hope
and nothing to do

Except watch pirates
catch mermaids
With lassos of gold
And dolphins tell stories
Of days of old

As all seemed lost
What did I see
That sent a wave of hope
Crashing over me

I saw footprints in the sand.....

You love me.
Whats wrong with you?
You say it every time you hug me.
Why cant i say it ?
I'm afraid of it.
Why am afraid?
cause it could destroy me
if i were to obtain it.
Do I even contain it?
I don't believe I do
because if I were to
I'd love myself, and
you.
-*love