She looks at her
As she feeds him
As she beams at him
With a mother's pride
Then she wonders quietly
How her baby would've been

She watches her
As she struggles with her crying baby
As she tries to soothe him
As everyone judges her motherhood
As she tries to mother him
And she wonders quietly
About her own
That she never got to hold

She quietly questions
Whether it was a relieving loss
Like a dodged bullet
She quietly wonders
How her single motherhood
Would've been in a judgy community
Of hateful christians

You said you're getting married
Most people would say congratulations
But my present to you
Is these questions

What's your reason?
Do you love her?
Does she love you?
Do you care about her?
Does she care about you?
Do you make her happy?
Does she make you happy?
Do you want her?
Does she want you?
Are you doing this,
Because it's the right thing to do?
And do you want to do the right thing?
Are you afraid, Of what they will think?
Are you afraid, of feeling what you feel?
Are you afraid, of a repeat
For the last one had feelings?
You can be anything you want to be
You're an expert, remember?
You can make it how you want them to see
You're adept at it, remember?

As I let you go
All I wish is the best
At a successful marriage.

I love how you concentrate on it
Even when you are not seeing a thing
How you scream out
Not sure if it's joy or frustration
How you move through phases
In minutes or even seconds
How one minute you laughing out loud
And the next you got tears flowing
How you make rules
Even about meals and mealtimes
How you smile
When your clothes are being taken off
And how you're all grumpy
When the same clothes are put back on
And your incredible ways of saying no
Lovely, isn't it?

I know you have questions
But I'm not proud of their true answers
So no, I will not answer
I know you think I'm being rude
I'm probably being rude
And selfish
But don't we all have those moments?
When we want to tuck the truths in our heads?
When we don't want to admit how we really feel?
When we don't want to say what we really want?
When we don't want to tell what really happened?

i have been asked "what does family mean to you?"
...
family?
family are the people that haven't treated you like **** your whole life
family are the people who not only give their all to be with you
but the ones who give their all for you
family are the people that show you what true love feels like
because those people love you unconditionally

family does not always mean the ones who share your genes
but sometimes they are the ones who borrow your jeans
they are the friends, neighbors, coworkers, and people you trust the most
the ones who spend every day with you by choice, not by obligation
the ones who show you your flaws without belittling you

family is who you choose, not the ones who were "stuck" with you

ＪＪｓｂｄｋｓｎｄｋｋｄｍｘｍｊｓｈＪｕｓｔｌｅｔｍｅｄｉｅｍｍｍｋｂｈｂｘｊｄｎｘｎｂｄｊｘｂｄｎｘｎｎｘｎｘｎＩｍｓｏｔｉｒｅ­ｄｏｆｔｈｉｓｎｓｊｓ ｎｋｋｓｂｄｎｄｎｂｄｔｈｅｓｅ ｔｅａｒｓ ｗｏｎｔｓｔｏｐｊｄｊｄｎｎ ｚｎｊｓｎｎｄｕｄｎｄｋｄｋｎｆｋｄｍｓｓｎｆｎｊｄｎｄｎｎｄｂｄｂｄｂｄｎＷｈｙｔｈｅｐａｉｎｓｔｉｌｌｌｉｖｅｓｉｎ ｍｙｈｅａｒｔｊｊｘｎｘｊｘｊｄｎ ｍｙｋｄｊｄｖｊｓｎｄｊｃｊｎｄｎｄｎｃｎｘｋｘｎｋｘｎｄｋｄｋｊｄｎｓｋｘｈｊｓｈｄｊｄｄｎｄｅＩｍｓｏｆｕｃｋｉｎｇｔｉｒｅｄ­ｍｓｎｎｄｋｓｎｘｏｎｓｈｘｉｄｎｋｘｎｄｊｓｊｄｂｊｄｋｓｌｍｓｎｄｊｊｄｂｄｉｓｂｄｊｊｄｋｓｎｄｊｄｈｂｓｎｄｎｎｄｊｄｊｄ­ｎｄｎｄ


Ｙｏｕｌｌｎｅｖｅｒｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ ｍｅ

i wonder what your reaction would be
if you really knew
if you really truly knew
i wonder if you would be closer to me
or further away
would she bring us closer
or tear us apart
maybe i don’t tell you
because deep down i already know
maybe i already know what would happen
but it doesn’t matter anymore anyways
its too late
she’s already here
under this roof
in my moms room
on my moms deck
drinking from my moms mugs
sitting on my moms chair
theres nothing i can do
but wallow
and have self pity
but of course that doesn’t help anyone
except maybe give me a bit of release
but at the same time i feel like I’m a guest
in my own house
i don’t feel like this is a home anymore
i feel like i don’t have a home
i don’t feel that i am at home for the summer months
i feel as though
i am visiting
and you are patiently
or impatiently
waiting for me to leave in september
i feel like a burden
but at the same time
i am the only one who cares about anything
and you wonder why i cry
every night
and refuse to talk about it with you
how can i
when the person who makes me cry
is the person you put infront of me
what would you say
if i told you
the one tearing your daughter down
is the one person you give everything to

Lovebirds

An old man sat with patience
On the bench he waited for her
He smiled sweetly on her appearance
Hand in hand they walked together.

In the garden full of greens
The lovebirds chatted with laughter
As if they were in movie scenes
The way they looked at each other.

He stroke her hair gently
Her hair clip he'd bought years ago
Still intact she placed it neatly
That is the little pink flamingo.

Pleasant breeze they enjoyed
As they continued walking
Her fragile nature shivered
In her thin floral dress clothing.

He took off his outer layer shirt
Naturally putting it on her shoulders
She joked about wearing a skirt
He thought she was full of wonders.

He recalled her bravery
She reminisced his sacrifices
They've come far in life's journey
Counting their little happiness.

As I watched from a distance
I felt a pinch of sweet jealousy
Witnessing true love's existence
Yet wishing them to stay as lovely.