I miss you like I miss cigarettes
   They were killing me softly too
      I miss you like I miss *******
         You both made me act the fool
             I miss you like I miss London
               ****, *****, vicious alcoholics
                  I miss you like teenage years
                    Confusion,  dabbling  narcotics
                       I will miss you less and less
                         Until, well you are just regret
                           But that has not happened
                              It has not happened - yet.
                                                    X

Bordered by an old fashioned picture frame
A man, curiously familiar, moustached, astute
With a smiling bride, his eyes aflame
And a brown "The Spy Who Loved Me" suit  

This was the first "real" connection with him
Displayed on my grandparents window shelf
Some how I knew I was missing a limb
Some how I knew I wasn't entirely myself

Patches of my memories dwell in clusters
perhaps I am mentally impaired.
I remember going to Ghost Busters
I remember being really scared.

Shaking inside trying to be brave
ashamed to being frightened of ghouls.
But that film soon became a fave
just as did playing snooker and pool.

I am aware that I have not let him know
that whist every time I have nearly drowned.
An island of him has rose from the flow
and let my two feet again find the ground.

Also, that as I have moulded myself into a man
he has been an integral aspect of my design.
Thanks to him I can have an extraordinary tan
I love a pun, good whisky and being on time.

So lets heartily toast the bygone days
now we can laugh about the happy and sad.
And let's swirl a whisky each others way
Because when all said and done, your my Dad.

Far, far too many things to say
Unable to
Control my thoughts and
Know even if I could I wouldn't

Of all the ways you could have told me...
Finding out for myself, hurt
Finally admitting the evidence as evidence hurt

Another day blurs into
Night,
Day, night, day, night, day...

Disabled by the brutality of your
Immature
Ego

I spent last night a' wandering
I roamed across the earth
Through meadows green
and cities gray
To try and find my worth

I asked the twinkling starlight,
beseeched the roaring sea
I begged the rugged mountainside
for any sign of me

I ran through threatening shadows
and basked in brightest sun
yet my heart remained elusive
and my soul remained undone

Then when the dawn awoke me
with it's dazzling newborn hue,
I found my worth within your heart
and wrote these words for you.