i am like a seed

people plant me into their little pots
constructed little plots
under control under their hands

they will always try to make me bloom
into a flower, into a little plant
under control under their hands

they would think that I am just a little bonsai
put a wire there, and i'll bloom
exactly the way they want me to

but I am tired of that
under control under their hands

i don't want to be tended, waiting
for me to bloom into what they expect me to
I am my own, and I don't need them to that, anymore

my body will grow, and they will see
i am not their plant,
i am not theirs

i don't want to be tended
if only the hands were tender
even with love

but then, they drench me
with words
that i love, and fall for

i am tired, but still
am just a seed

i am no tree, i am powerless

so place me into your ***
control me under a plot

and i'd will always
always go towards the sun

my sun

You have to stop looking at me as if I am the only thing your eyes can look at and you'd go mad if you were to look somewhere else because when it comes down to it all you do is run away and leave me behind with my skin burned by your stare.

When I miss you, I miss too much
I miss who I am when I’m with you
I miss what you make me feel
I miss how loved I felt
How the feelings of love never went away
When I was with you

When I love you, I love you deeply
With the love only a mother loves with
The way a loved one loves another
The love that couldn’t be found anywhere else
The love I won’t allow you to never escape from
When I was with you

When I held you, I held you tightly
I held the fond memories we had
Tighter than the grip around your neck
When I expressed my love for you
Tighter than our passion filled nights
Of forcing myself inside of you
When I was with you

When I hit you, I hit hard
With the affection I’ve always had for you
As if the bruises on your face
Don’t remind you of me
And all the moments we shared
And every waking hour you live
You’ll never forget the times
When I was with you

Today I walked into Barnes and Noble to buy my summer reading book which just so happens to be super thick and its boring (**** me now!) Anyways, while we're there, out of curiosity, I asked if they had any John Green books (because everywhere else, they're either sold out or on hold) and they did. The lady brought me to a table. A few of my friends had recommended his works. Scanning the table of books, unsure of what to chose, a guy walks up to me. He looks about my age, maybe a year or so older. He's pretty cute, which is quite the pleasant surprise because usually guys don't talk to me. He says, pointing to The Fault in Our Stars, "I couldn't help but kind of overhear you talking, but I read this and it was amazing." He points at Looking for Alaska. "My girlfriend read this... said it was pretty good." So I say thanks and something awkward like 'I'll have to check it out,' and get The Fault in Our Stars. This small gesture has restored my hope in our generation. The guys in my school are mostly arrogant airheads with no taste in music, in my opinion, anyway. In addition to this experience with a stranger, today, while at a shopping center, I saw a girl wearing a 5 Seconds of Summer shirt, as I had mine on, too. I complimented her and she smiled and said, "Thanks, you too." This small gesture has also restored my hope in our generation. Today I learned that not everyone ***** and that makes me really happy. I guess that if you put yourself out there, ever so slightly, in the right places, you might learn things or make new friends.  What if I'd talked to the girl about 5SOS? Or asked the guy about other books he's read? There are so many opportunities every single day to improve the quality of our lives and we pass them up, because they're things that are thought of as small, but can have huge impacts. I believe that if each and everyone of us tried, just a little bit, to talk to  strangers, the world would be a better place. Not everyone wants to hurt you. I'm not saying to invite some random person  into your house, but to talk to people with common interests, or compliment someone on their shirt. Little things like that, as they did to me, can make someone's day. I walk to my mom with a pile of books. She turns to me and says, "Since when did cute boys talk to you at bookstores?"

The band is playing so loud
I can barely hear myself think.
I've been stagnant so long,
this place is starting to reek.

My dangling feet tell the story
of many a bar stool night.
I order the counter to dismiss my banter,
I insist with all my might.

The bar doesn't listen,
neither does its tender.
Their unsettling ears pry,
Relentless until my surrender.