I struggle to click the keys, watching the cursor blink. Everything in me feels heavy. I feel you crawling around inside my bones. I've asked you to leave hundreds of times. But you stay in my head and ignore my wishes. You ruined another good day. I feel myself trying to reject you from my thoughts, but the more I try the more I think about it. I feel myself tense. I feel my body grow tired. I don't wanna fight. I don't wanna think. I don't want it. I don't want you. I find it kind of ironic that it's been a decade and we still play that game- where you don't know. You don't know about that one day. I'm stuck here picking up the pieces you dropped since then. *******. I wish you knew how much pain you cause. You were supposed to hug all my pain away, but this pain you created can't be tamed.

i beg for air,
and you still wont let me go.

and she could have been a flower if her petals hadn't been plucked.
but she will bloom once again someday.

You planted a knife in me,
ten inches deep
almost a decade ago.

and I can't get it out.

you can only push it deeper.
and you still do,
without trying.

I don't blame you; the truth hurts.
Silence must have been better than admitting your son was really a monster.