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Feb 2012
Aren’t you so very proud?
Don’t you know who I have become?
Do you not care that I was lost and broken?
Do you not care that you have left me alone?
And angry words were last spoken,
Leaving everything unresolved among us
Because you have decided not to care
You have decided to escalate the fuss
And declare a lasting warfare.  

Aren’t you so very proud?
Don’t you realize you are missing out?
I am willing to share with you
I would let you in without a doubt
But I don’t think you would too.
It doesn’t look as if you care
It is as if you are not broken
I guess this is not a pain we share
To be alone and forgotten.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You have lost a daughter
But, that was your choice.
I am here to please you no longer
You many never again hear my voice.
The relationship is in your hands
Do with it what you will
I am done with your demands
And now you have a family minus a Jill.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You chose comfort over your very own child
Afraid of what others may say
But now you’ve let me run wild
And what do you think they now say?
They wonder how you could choose this.
Why did you give up? What did I do so wrong?
And now I don’t think I am even missed.
But I am fine. I am strong.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You gave up. I never will.
I will always wait
Never giving up hope still
Because I believe in fate.
I know you were in my life for a reason
One I cannot yet explain
And with the passing of each season
My spirit and strength will maintain.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You had a hand in raising me.
That you cannot deny.
And you can think back to times of glee
And all the times you made me cry
And you can know I am stronger now
That is thanks to you
Thank you for breaking me down
And thank you for loving me too.

Aren’t you so very proud?
I can see past you faults.
I still love you.
But you are supposed to be the adults
And your child is more mature than you.
I know I am loved, even if it is not by my parents
And their love is unconditional, like the lie you told me
About this you should care not
Because you chose to walk out on me.

Aren’t you so very proud?
Of the loving slaps and kicks you delivered
At times I was sad and scared
You merely pushed me down even further
Even when you said you cared.
But those blows made me stronger
Able to last in this difficult fight
Just a little longer
And keep my true self in sight.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You taught me a lot
Who I do not want to be
And who I am not
But it was not very easy to see.
This was all a struggle, do not get me wrong
But I need to say I am done too.
You have made me independent and strong
Now the rest is up to you.
Jill Anderson
Written by
Jill Anderson
563
 
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