I asked you a question...
Something like,
“Will you marry me and cook for me every day?”
You replied.
“No. I will not cook for you every day.”
With a hell yeah and a smirk on my face
I’ll take that as well

Rapidly beating

your heart against my ear

as Han Solo's son

rammed a lightsaber

through his chest

I could hear



the beat-beat-beat

reverberating through

layers of blanket, cloth, and skin

sitting next to you

on the couch

thumping loudly and steady

without fear



so let's begin



on a star searched journey

where the spaceships hovel

and the robots swivel

in a galaxy not that

far away from reality



it's like swallowing starlight

or slicing through dark trees

heavy with snow

hearing them crack-crack-crack

from a buzzing vibration

of the blue lightsaber at hand

watching the trees crash, then

clash against red



a struggle unsaid



but when I rested my head

against your slight frame

something within me



melted.



(I guess my heart was tamed.)

when i was six years old my whole family went to disney world and being the self-respecting born and bred star wars fans we were, my brother and i cajoled our parents into letting us buy pictures of our little faces photoshopped onto the faces of star wars characters.

my brother? anakin skywalker. and me? aayla secura.
who you probably haven't heard of, even if you're a pretty big fan of the series. to get you up to speed, aayla secura was a jedi knight and a general during the clone wars era in the prequel trilogy, which is all suitably ******* badass, but if i remember right she has roughly five minutes of screen time in the movies and even less in lines. and you probably remember her as that one blue chick.

and if i remember right she was also one of about three or four female options for the pictures. sure, there was padme amidala and princess leia, who are badass ladies in their own rights, but see the thing is that no six year old watches starwars and thinks to themselves, "hmm, i want to be a politician!" you think to yourself, "i want to be a jedi." and the only option that was a girl and a jedi was a background character.

but that's the thing isn't it? being a background character, a love interest, a side-kick is something girls grow used to seeing themselves cast as. sure, we're in the movie, but with half the lines and screen time. never the center of the story. never the hero, just the pretty girl with fluttery eyelashes he saves. too often i found myself having to invent my own characters and stories so that i could feel that i was part of a narrative, too.

and suddenly, more than ten years too late for for six year old me but just in time for a whole new generation of little girls, the person in the center of the poster clutching a blue lightsaber like a beacon of the light side was a girl.

so this halloween as i'm handing out candy i will see myself in every little girl with her hair twisted into three buns and light saber in her hand and the galaxy in her eyes. finally, finally the story is about her.

Oh how I wish I was a Jedi Pirate.
Can you imagine how bad *** that would be?
Dressed in awesome sea faring garb
and carrying a lightsaber and blaster on my side.

I know that jedis stand for justice and peace and siths stand for emotion and power.
I can't pick a side.
So I guess I'll stay in the middle.
I'll sail the cosmic seas
and feel the force within the breeze.
With a bottle of *** in my hand
and force lightning at my command.

God that would be ******* awesome.

The darkness in his eyes
A true reflection of his pain
Led away from the path of light
He truly had no gain

As he walked from his family
Never to return, he mourned
As he looked into his dying father's eyes
Pretended that he didn't see forgiveness

He's truly broken
Inside, just a shell
Just a mad dog without a leash
As he watched as his Father fell

His mask hides his youthful face
Hides it as if it's a mark of disgrace
His lightsaber is as unstable
As his emotions, running wild

Many joke, his heart is a fable
That he's merely a metal figure
Programmed for Snoke's doing
Nothing is secure

He cut off his path to the light
But there
Is still hope
Of redemption

I can’t apologize enough for your situation
Hillary Swank is definitely not one of my favorite actors.
Michael Buble hasn’t met you yet apparently either
River can’t wait for you to get home and neither can I
Does it get tiring reading poems about you?
Can’t help it, but I’ll try my hardest dear
If you were a Jedi, your lightsaber would be green
One O’ Clock isn’t my best time

One year ago exactly, I awoke to the miserable news that my dear friend, Morgan Helman, was dead. I called her voicemail and wept my goodbyes. I punched the wall and screamed until I thought my lungs would crack. I wrote a poem to express the ravaging anguish I was experiencing, and to try and honor her life. I read it as a eulogy at her funeral. In it, I mentioned a time when she had asked me to write a happy poem. Everything I had ever written was a result of sadness or some other tortured emotion. I apologized that what I wrote for her was far from happy. I told her someday I would a write a happy poem, though I doubted my own words. One year later, I have walked away from the depressed mental state I used to call home. On the anniversary of her passing, I completed this "happy" poem. It's different than what I'm used to creating. It might not be as artistic as some of my other poetry. But it is a vivid expression of the first step in a new direction. This poem is dedicated to Morgan Helman and the legacy of love she left in her wake.

You Are

Resonating laughter
as the child plays,
hallway smiles
on bad days.

Disney movies
when I'm sick,
lightsaber battles
as a kid.

Rope swings
for make believe Peter-Panning,
backyard sprinklers
spraying the trampoline.

Hot soup
after it snows,
Refreshing popsicles
when the sun glows.

Warm cookies
melting in my mouth,
playing cards
at Grandma's house.

Blazing campfires
engulfed in inspiration,
jam sessions
with passionate musicians.

Barefoot freedom
in the grass and on the beach,
Sandy paradise
sinking beneath my feet.

Captivating books
as it gently rains,
favorite songs
when I'm disarrayed.

Intimate poetry
as my soul sings,
genuine happiness
spilling out of me.

Caring parents
whose admiration lasts,
trustworthy friends
who remove my masks.

Comforting arms
when my friend dies,
calloused hands
pulling tears from drowning eyes.

Raw love
strung on splintered wood,
My God
you are everything good.

~ m.w. ~

Greatest Ever (GOAT)

The greatest ever,
don’t hesitate for the Haters,
I stand here united in love,
while you’re divided as the Equator,

or better yet division equations,
no hesitations I’ve got now don’t care who has later,
baskin in the Florida sun while ballin’ in the fun,
on a beach in Miami with my belly in the sand call me a Gator,
got Florida sun shine in a New York state of One Mind,
in California at Greystone getting more wine from the waiter,
feeling like He-Man at Castle Greyskull getting great skull,
both reckless and tasteful variety the spice of life I like to savor,
and yeah they call me a player but better a player than a hater,
and yeah they call me selfish behind my back then face me and ask for favors,
but I cut through the BS with my lightsaber half Luke Skywalker half Darth Vader,
with no time to waste and no mind to spare so catch me now or see you later,

in the meantime you can find me at the beach,
between just laid and self made plotting revenges and favors,
went from being on the street on my *** with no glass to Best Ever,
fully clothed now with all the bells and whistles from minor league to major,

dressed the nines with my thumb on the button,
and my finger on the trigger,
and I won’t hesitate to detonate,
on any fool that flexes hate because I’m the Greatest Ever,

I’ll spell it out for you,
G.O.A.T.,
and that is the truth,
for real for really,
I’m the GOAT,
setting records and making goals,
so while all the losers are lost in hesitation,
I’m non stop always on the go,

the greatest ever,
don’t hesitate for the Haters,
I stand here united in love,
while you’re divided as the Equator…

∆ LaLux ∆