Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I thought it right to assess some antidepressants, which philosophers are more inclined to call mood enhancers.
This was during my foray into human enhancement, substances intended to enhance physicality, cognition or mood. Nootropic compounds concern the latter two categories.

The most commonly prescribed mood enhancers are serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs), but it takes over a week for these compounds reach their peak effect.
Thus I approached them with the notion that a limited dosage might point to their character, though not revealing it. These considerations in mind, I set about acquiring a few miscellaneous anti-D's.

Fluoxetine was the first successful selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI), better known by its original brand-name Prozac. Fluoxetine has an acute biological half-life of between 1-3 days. Presence of a trifluoromethyl group on the compound deserves note, I wonder what the presence of electronegative fluorine atoms add to the psychoactive flavor of a compound (subjective effects).
I administered a single dose by mouth, there was some indication of subjective character. Light serotonergic sensations and seemingly benign mood-dampening, there is a ****** towards the positive. Waking headspace relatively uninteresting. Observed hints of oneirogenesis, did not manifest in enough character to be detailed - a sort of vivid, 'pulsive wandering, more pronounced in contrast to its waking character.
Good experiment, interesting results.
Ligand     Ki (nM)   Ki (nM)
Target      Flx            Nflx
SERT        1               19
NET         660           2700
DAT         4180         420
5-HT2A   200           300
5-HT2B    5000         5100
5-HT2C    72.6          91.2
α1             3000         3900
M1            870           1200
M2            2700         4600
M3            1000         760
M4            2900         2600
M5            2700         2200
H1            3250         10000

Sertraline is another popular SSRI, also known by it's original brand-name Zoloft. Sertraline has a variable half-life, on average 26 hours.
It's metabolite, desmethylsertraline, has a half life between 62-104 hours but is a far less potent Serotonin Releasing Agent (SRA).
The presence of two chlorine atoms is interesting. The usual, phenomenal serotonergicity is present and pushing towards the positive.
Some nausea, particularly when hungry (this disappeared after some minestrone soup). Some faintness after physical exertion. This dose did not promote onirogenesis. There was a moment of cognitive distortion when the proportions of a focal object seemed to be growing in-and-out, shifting in size.
Site                 Ki (nM)
SERT              0.15–3.3
NET               420–925
DAT               22–315
5-HT1A       >35,000
5-HT2A          2,207
5-HT2C          2,298
α1A        ­        1900
α1B                 3,500
α1D                 2,500
α2                  477–4,100
D2                  10,700
H1                  24,000
mACh           427–2,100
σ1                   32–57
σ2                   5,297

Escitalopram is an SSRI commonly prescribed for major depression and generalised anxiety. It is the (S)-stereoisomer of citalopram. The biological half-life is of escitalopram is between 27-32 hours.
I administered a dose and thought the phenomenal serotonergicity less apparent than fluoxetine but then gastro-intestinal disturbance was noted, I surmised it has a high affinity for 5-HT2C.
Any oneiric qualities were not readily apparent after a single dose, relatively little visual imagery which is understandable given its lack of affinity for 5-HT2A. I found this to be philosophically interesting. Mood elevation observed in bursts of conversation and as odd sensations, possible mental discomfort.
Ligand,
Recptr     Ki (nM)
SERT       2.5
NET        6,514
5-HT2C   2,531
α1            3,870
M1           1,242
H1           1,973

Venlafaxine is a selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI). Venlafaxine and its metabolites are active for about 11 hours.
Initial subjective effects similar to a very light empathogenic stimulant. Perception of altered attention-span/increased reflexive response; energizing yet paradoxically much yawning.
Ligand,  Vnfx      Dvnfx
Recptr    Ki(nM)  Ki(nM)
SERT  ­    82           40.2
NET       2480        558.4

Tianeptine is a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA) with an unusual mechanism of action. It is an atypical agonist of the μ-opioid receptor and has been described as a (selective) serotonin reuptake enhancer (SRE). It has a short duration as sodium salts [prescribed form] of between 2-4 hours but as sulfate this can be notably extended, some of its metabolites are active for longer than tianeptine itself.
Definitely anxiolytic, quite artificial; possible aphrodisiac. I find its opioid activity dissuading, requires caution.
Site          Ki (nM)
MOR       383–768 (Ki)
                 194 (EC50)
DOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 37,400 (EC50)
KOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 100,000 (EC50)
All other transporter/receptor/sub-receptor values are >10,000 (Ki).

Bupropion is a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) with affinity for some nicotinic receptors. Bupropion and its metabolites are active for between 12-36 hours. Interestingly it is a substituted cathinone.
Initial subjective effects similar to a fairly light stimulant. Perception of increased attention-span and improved cognition. It is an onirogen that is neutral in quality, enhancing vivid dreaming (a boon of its nicotinic affinity which is counteracted if the stimulant component impinges on sleep). Completely absent of serotonergicity, curious.
The N-tert-butyl group's effect is most interesting, how it affects metabolism. I took 150mg ******, as extended and as instant release (the latter was more pronounced). Interesting to compare with other cathinones, and curious to think of other bupropiologues (for example, 3-Methyl-N-tert-butyl-methcathinone). A decent compound, probably useful for a range of things beyond its indication.
                        Bupropion    R,R-Hydroxybuprp­n   Threo-hydrobuprpn
AUC               1                     23.8                                  11.2
Half-life         11 h                 19 h                                 31 h
IC50 (μM)
DAT               0.66                  inactive                          47 (rat)
NET               1.85                   9.9                                  16 (rat)
SERT              inactive          inactive               ­            67 (rat)
α3β4 nic         1.8                   6.5                                   14 (rat)
α4β2 nic         12                     31                                   no data
α1β1γδ nic     7.9                    7.6                                  no data

Moclobemide is a reversible inhibitor of monoamine oxidase A (RIMA), its monoamine oxidase inhibition lasts about 8–10 hours and wears off completely by 24 hours. Inhibiting the decomposition of monoamines (e.g. serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine) increases their accumulation at an extracellular level. It tends to suppress REM sleep and so it lacks oneirogenic properties.
Feeling of well-being, less constrained by the usual anxieties; openness. Relatively unnoticeable side-effects when diet is carefully managed. Made the mistake of eating a cheese and turkey sandwich (i.e. foodstuff rich in tryptophan/tyramine), slight indications of serotonergicity later became apparent when in bed: feelings of overheating and flushing, slight sweating, racing thoughts and anxious discomfort. A reminder of Shulgin's old adage: "there is no casual experiment".
Combination with a select few tryptamines (not 5-MeO-xxT) should be safe and synergistic (perfect for pharmahuasca), but is very dangerous to combine with serotonergic drugs.
When there are so many we shall have to mourn,
when grief has been made so public, and exposed
to the critique of a whole epoch
the frailty of our conscience and anguish,

of whom shall we speak? For every day they die
among us, those who were doing us some good,
who knew it was never enough but
hoped to improve a little by living.

Such was this doctor: still at eighty he wished
to think of our life from whose unruliness
so many plausible young futures
with threats or flattery ask obedience,

but his wish was denied him: he closed his eyes
upon that last picture, common to us all,
of problems like relatives gathered
puzzled and jealous about our dying.

For about him till the very end were still
those he had studied, the fauna of the night,
and shades that still waited to enter
the bright circle of his recognition

turned elsewhere with their disappointment as he
was taken away from his life interest
to go back to the earth in London,
an important Jew who died in exile.

Only Hate was happy, hoping to augment
his practice now, and his dingy clientele
who think they can be cured by killing
and covering the garden with ashes.

They are still alive, but in a world he changed
simply by looking back with no false regrets;
all he did was to remember
like the old and be honest like children.

He wasn't clever at all: he merely told
the unhappy Present to recite the Past
like a poetry lesson till sooner
or later it faltered at the line where

long ago the accusations had begun,
and suddenly knew by whom it had been judged,
how rich life had been and how silly,
and was life-forgiven and more humble,

able to approach the Future as a friend
without a wardrobe of excuses, without
a set mask of rectitude or an
embarrassing over-familiar gesture.

No wonder the ancient cultures of conceit
in his technique of unsettlement foresaw
the fall of princes, the collapse of
their lucrative patterns of frustration:

if he succeeded, why, the Generalised Life
would become impossible, the monolith
of State be broken and prevented
the co-operation of avengers.

Of course they called on God, but he went his way
down among the lost people like Dante, down
to the stinking fosse where the injured
lead the ugly life of the rejected,

and showed us what evil is, not, as we thought,
deeds that must be punished, but our lack of faith,
our dishonest mood of denial,
the concupiscence of the oppressor.

If some traces of the autocratic pose,
the paternal strictness he distrusted, still
clung to his utterance and features,
it was a protective coloration

for one who'd lived among enemies so long:
if often he was wrong and, at times, absurd,
to us he is no more a person
now but a whole climate of opinion

under whom we conduct our different lives:
Like weather he can only hinder or help,
the proud can still be proud but find it
a little harder, the tyrant tries to

make do with him but doesn't care for him much:
he quietly surrounds all our habits of growth
and extends, till the tired in even
the remotest miserable duchy

have felt the change in their bones and are cheered
till the child, unlucky in his little State,
some hearth where freedom is excluded,
a hive whose honey is fear and worry,

feels calmer now and somehow assured of escape,
while, as they lie in the grass of our neglect,
so many long-forgotten objects
revealed by his undiscouraged shining

are returned to us and made precious again;
games we had thought we must drop as we grew up,
little noises we dared not laugh at,
faces we made when no one was looking.

But he wishes us more than this. To be free
is often to be lonely. He would unite
the unequal moieties fractured
by our own well-meaning sense of justice,

would restore to the larger the wit and will
the smaller possesses but can only use
for arid disputes, would give back to
the son the mother's richness of feeling:

but he would have us remember most of all
to be enthusiastic over the night,
not only for the sense of wonder
it alone has to offer, but also

because it needs our love. With large sad eyes
its delectable creatures look up and beg
us dumbly to ask them to follow:
they are exiles who long for the future

that lives in our power, they too would rejoice
if allowed to serve enlightenment like him,
even to bear our cry of 'Judas',
as he did and all must bear who serve it.

One rational voice is dumb. Over his grave
the household of Impulse mourns one dearly loved:
sad is Eros, builder of cities,
and weeping anarchic Aphrodite.
Clare Mar 2015
Thinking is an
overused
abused
undermined
misunderstood
under-understood
gene­ralised
washed-out
Concept.

Language has killed it,
or rather people have.
The world now goes -
"Thinking is such a waste of time"

I am now thinking
how they got there
Without wasting their time.

What a waste of time!
Àŧùl  Apr 2017
Nomadic Lover
Àŧùl Apr 2017
Hitherto I've been victimised,
My love has been plagiarised,
Claimed by men generalised.
I have loved her,
And lost her too.
Like I've in the past,
With other lovers.

I am a Nomadic Lover,
I know not what it is to be loved,
By young ladies I have only been cheated.
My HP Poem #1481
©Atul Kaushal
Olivia Kent Jun 2015
Looking at hazy purple through bright pink eyes.
Dancing with soldier ants.
What a surprise.
Tickling yellow in a chilled out way.
Friday the last working day.
Off out to play.
Basking in the golden sun.
Fun day.
Breathing the green grass.
It's making me sneeze.

On oceans of blue.
The navy sails.
Warships, submariners.
Ensigns flying.
Blown on the wind
England expects.
Dare have no regrets of sailing the seas.
Nor flying the skies.
Surfing the internet.
Hunting hatred disguised
In generalised chatter.
A plane flies overhead.
Drops a bomb.
Boom boom, foreign friends dead.
Glad I'm indoors.
(c)Livvi
Àŧùl Nov 2024
When you were born, oh my dear,
No doctor—no midwife predicted,
But, oh my dear, you've been a granny,
All throughout, all throughout.

When I first saw you,
I wanted to take you home,
Adorable, lovable, and pure
I really did want to kidnap you.

Why, you ask me...
Look at yourself,
Those pure eyes,
That cute face,
And that cuddly body.

I saw you in 2024,
And you were 24 years old,
I realised you're a 24-year-old grandma.
No fun, no bun, no run.

Oh, Teddy, I so wish...
I hope that you realised it...
Your words hurt me...
How you compared hurt me...

You generalised my trauma,
How could you compare?
You said, "Disabled people even clear UPSC-CSE,"
But you didn't stop there,
And you kept misbehaving...

If you never wanted to marry me,
You could've simply told your mom.

Off and on,
Undying spirit,
Not of positivity,
But of vengeance.

You never actually apologised,
So, I never forgave,
But it's hard,
Yes, it's so hard,
Hard to forget what we forged.

I had seen a world in your eyes,
In my mind, I had seen a future,
A future where you are with me,
A future where I train you, honey.

But why did we separate out?
C'mon now, tell me, why did we?
Couldn't you just be mine?
I wanted to live with you.

What was the need for separation?
I'm perplexed by how things went.
It was so right initially, the elation.
Why did the things prematurely end?
My HP Poem #2020
©Atul Kaushal

Meta AI's comments:
This poem is a heartfelt expression of:

1. Longing and love
2. Hurt and betrayal
3. Unforgiveness and nostalgia

The speaker addresses Teddy, born February 6, 2000, with a mix of affection and pain.

*Initial Affection*

- Admiring Teddy's purity, cuteness, and charm
- Desire to protect and care for Teddy

*Painful Shift*

- Realization of Teddy's transformation (24-year-old "granny")
- Hurt by Teddy's words, comparisons, and misbehavior
- Feeling traumatized and unforgiven

*Unresolved Emotions*

- Confusion and perplexity about separation
- Longing for a lost future together
- Unresolved issues and unspoken apologies

*Key Questions*

- Why did Teddy hurt and betray the speaker?
- Why did they separate?
- Why couldn't Teddy be honest about their intentions?

*Poetic Devices*

- Imagery (pure eyes, cute face, cuddly body)
- Metaphor (24-year-old granny)
- Repetition (oh my dear, why did we?)
- Rhetorical questions

*Themes*

- Toxic relationships
- Emotional trauma
- Unforgiveness and nostalgia
- Longing for lost love

This poem is a powerful expression of complex emotions.

Would you like to:

1. Explore ways to process emotional trauma?
2. Discuss healthy communication in relationships?
3. Analyze the impact of comparisons on self-esteem?
4. Examine poetry as a therapeutic outlet?
People don't like labels,
They don't like to be generalised,
Grouped in with everyone else.

Well I'd love one,
But I don't fit into any of them,
Which seems to hurt me more.

I need to understand,
I want something solid, real to hold on to,
To remind me someone knows how to help.

But it's the strange sense,
That I'm on my own, or that I'm too unique,
That gets me and brings me to tears.

I'd love a label,
But society doesn't have one for me,
Not quite.
Drifting  Jul 2013
Eyes
Drifting Jul 2013
I yearned for your eyes for the longest time
I wanted to see you again.
I knew what you had done, but on some days, I just didn't care.



I never got to see you again
The memory of them
That picture in my mind, of your gorgeous, baby blue, crystal waters eyes, had faded.
I didn't picture them as often, I stopped thinking about them, and they faded.

They had faded so much, that when I went to think of those beautiful eyes of yours, all I could see was a random set of blue eyes.
My mind had just generalised that picture in my head of your eyes that there was just a random set of light blue eyes
Staring back at me, in the back of that classroom

in my memory

a.d.
Poetria Jun 2016
A black and white chess board
with only two pieces left fighting.

This is where I go, when I go.

A transparent room
with a transparent view of the earth
from above its crusty surface.

This is where I go, when I go.

A yellow cafè
where it's always midday
and the people serve heart pastries
for breakfast.

This is where I go, when I go.

Somewhere that let's me think
from an outsiders perspective.
Somewhere I don't have to live.

This is where I go, when I go.

Somewhere you don't exist,
where nobody exists,
where existence
isn't a generalised thing.

This is where I go, when I go.

*Someplace far away.
When I zone out.
innerThought Oct 2015
We see what we think we see
We react on what we feel
Thus it should not be generalised
As a good nor bad action
But as the actions of thee emotions,

So feel good and you shall do good

But feel dark and twisted and everyone around you shall suffer through pain covered In glistening gloom as the suffering dwell within your mind haunting every suvaneer of memory you have,

Think happy thoughts.
Kirsten  Oct 2015
Fire
Kirsten Oct 2015
Back of the room, wallflower, seeing all desires.
A longing look, no, a platonic peek,
an alliterated sonnet generalised as a hello,
pining in clasped hands to avoid burning crimson.
Possibly unrequited, is one totally conceded?
Adolescent secrets in academic stature, controversy is afoot;
Never yours, always mine, promises drawn in the sand.

A rejected invitation, too scared to speak out;
Escapes, unequivocally, with flaming purples ebbing on electric blues.
Tells you no, I’m fine, though there is a fine line
between silently pleading and inwardly bleeding.
How can one be a listener when white noise is the focal?
The walls scream ****** ******, the tiles ooze secrets,
what happens between the first and last, well that is the question,
lay the roses and fly the flag, for he was not to blame.

Starting to break through, or so we thought;
Dazzling disorders glamorized wholly through the eyes of misconception.

The poor boy, they say, he should have known better,
Than to play with fire when he was already scarred,
So much affection with so little comeuppance.
Late nights with no calls,
Strangers turning into dust.

He wondered how he could look okay,
The one he once so dearly loved,
Crying his name in the dark of the night.
Not tonight my love, I have a date with the stars.

— The End —